The Road to Skinny … I’m in Mourning

On the upside … still losing weight. Don’t know how much as I quit weighing myself unless I’m at the doctor and she forces me. But my clothes continue to get baggier and my pants are starting to look more suited for someone in a rap video than a mother. I have also yet to embark on my exercise journey, but I am thinking about it. Kinda. I’m drinking more water and I’m usually remembering to take all of my new meds and vitamins, usually. Overall, things are looking up.

What I’m struggling with now is the realization that I’m never going to get to eat some of my favourite things ever again. In my brain, I know that I’m being silly and that I’m grateful for finally discovering these allergies. I love that each day I feel a little bit better, and that my head gets a little bit clearer. I am so thankful that I’m no longer playing the “I don’t know what’s wrong with me game”. I really truly am.

But I want cake. Sobeys birthday cake to be exact. And bread. Good bread made into a delicious sandwich. And Mini-Wheats cereal. And egg rolls and ginger beef. And pretty much every wheat and gluten filled food that ever was … even if I’ve never eaten it before. I might even consider eating fish sticks (shudder), just so I can chew the breading off the outside of it. Sigh.

Yes, I’m whining again. (Still trying to figure out how to turn that into a calorie burning activity by the way). I am actually really shocked that the loss of an entire food group has made me so upset. I never would’ve thought that something so silly would mess with my head so much.

I actually thought that I was totally okay with it, and that I had accepted my new fate, until my boy was handed the same one the other day. When the doctor told him that he had to give up gluten, dairy and sugar, his face fell and his eyes filled with tears. It immediately dawned on me that I was in the same place, and it felt horrible. My head instantly filled with pictures of things that I could no longer eat and I was sad. After the doctor’s appointment, I quickly drove the boy to the gluten-free store and showed him everything that he could eat, and he settled right down. Truth be told, as soon as he realized that he could still have Skittles and Ketchup, he was totally fine. Me … I’m still working through it.

So this week, I will work on getting over myself and rejoicing in the fact that I’m getting better. I’m going to be a good example to my son and not whine and complain and pine over things that I can no longer have. I’m continuing on … watch out skinny, I’m on my way.

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2 thoughts on “The Road to Skinny … I’m in Mourning

  1. The Weight Run Down February 13, 2012 at 2:02 pm Reply

    I’m allergic to nuts and will find out today if I am allergic to soy. After about 8 pretty bad attacks after eating soy (took me a while to figure out) I so scared to hear that I have to adjust my diet for good again. I didn’t find out I was allergic to nuts until I was about 21 so the hardest thing is craving thins you used to love! I joined a few online groups and they suggest great alternatives. Also, I found new food loves to replace what I couldn’t eat anymore.

  2. Krista February 13, 2012 at 2:50 pm Reply

    You brought tears to my eyes. Keep up the hard work April, you are an inspiration. I pray that you have peace and understanding while on this journey. And I pray the same for your son :). Hopefully things won’t be too hard, just different :). Good job and God Bless!!

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