I was 20 years old when I met my future husband. I had never lived by myself or with friends, and in fact, still lived with my parents. I’d never attended college or been anywhere farther east than Saskatchewan. I was a daughter and a sister, and most certainly not even considering becoming a mother. Almost exactly one year later, I married my best friend. I was now a wife.
We moved to a new city, 5 hours away from everything I knew. I had no friends, no job and no idea what I was going to “be when I grew up”. I can remember the quietness of my new house and it made me insane. I had left a household of 8 people and had become a family of 2. I had to leave the TV on all the time just so I could have background noise and didn’t have to talk to myself. I was young and in love, a little unsure of myself and kinda lost, but I was happy. And then I was a Mom.
I fell madly in love with this little person. She filled my days with joy, smiles and giggles. She made my nights sleepless and seemingly never-ending. She made me happy and I was so proud to call her mine. As she grew and my life changed, something inside of me was awakening. I was surrounded by children, some mine, and some that were loaned to me to parent. I was still happily married to a very good man. I had a very good life, but something was missing.
I can remember sitting there and thinking about all of the things that I hadn’t done in my life. I hadn’t lived on my own. I’d never gone to school. I’d never gone off to see the world and experience fun and exciting things. I had never just been “me”, as in me, myself and I. I had become someone else. I was Just. A. Mom.
For some reason that terrified me. Was that all I was ever going to be? Would that be the only thing people remembered me for? Why wasn’t that good enough? Why did I “need” to be more than that? Suddenly I was questioning everything about myself and all that I knew, and then, I woke up.
Yes, I am a Mother, but I most certainly am not “Just a Mom”.
I am responsible for helping little people become all that they think they can be, and then a little bit more. I am quite possibly raising a future world leader. I am teaching my children about equality and respect and grace. I am showing them that nobody is better than anyone else. I am giving them the confidence to stand up for themselves and the people around them. I am lifting them up when the world beats them down. I am rescuing children from horrible circumstances and giving them a brighter future. I am making promises to love them and support them in whatever they choose to do or wherever they choose to go. I am preparing them for the hard decisions that they will have to make. I am giving them my words when they don’t have their own. I am molding and shaping the gifts that God gave me. I am changing the world.
I have the hardest, scariest, toughest, most exciting, fun and fulfilling job ever. I get no pay, no vacation or sick days. I have many awesome days and just as many horrible ones. I witness life changing moments. I am unconditonally loved even when I don’t always deserve it. I get to laugh and cry and tell stupid jokes. I have been blessed with something that many women will never get the joy of experiencing. Who am I to question the value of what I do? I am a very blessed woman and a darn good Mom.
So, to all the “Just a Moms”, the Mom’s to be and the Mom’s that want nothing more than just have the opportunity to try. Never, ever doubt your worth. Never, ever question your role and the importance that it carries. Never look back and question “what if”? You are exactly where you’re supposed to be, cherish it and enjoy the ride. Happy Mothers Day to all of you!