If you’re in a relationship, you’ve probably received some very “interesting” gifts from your significant other, or quite possibly nothing at all. You may have received some fabulous presents, but they were so obviously not “you” or were purchased somewhere very close to the cash register. We’ve usually spent hours shopping, planning and wrapping for everyone else and “we” get lost in the middle. This isn’t a selfish whiny post, it’s a reality that lots of us are dealing with. The forgotten Christmas wife and mother. We can all pretend like we don’t really care, but we do, so I’m going to do something about it.
This year, I’m helping our “other half’s” out by giving them some guidelines and some pointers.
The Christmas Don’t List.
1. Kitchen appliances are not suitable gifts. UNLESS specifically asked for. And when I say specifically asked for, it must’ve been presented like this. “I would like a blender for Christmas”. Just speaking about it in passing, such as “this toaster sucks”, is not license to purchase one for Christmas.
2. When you see Pyjamas written on a Christmas wish list, that means pyjamas. It does not mean, tiny, lacy and uncomfortable. That’s called lingerie. There is a difference.
3. Gift sets that include lotions that smell like lavender, rose or lily of the valley are not for your wife. Those would be great for your Mom or better yet, your Grandmother.
4. Weight loss aids, diet books, exercise equipment, etc. also fall into the “do not purchase unless specifically asked for” category. No matter how you present it or try and sell it, it will still look like, “I think you’re fat, this will help”.
5. And just to clarify, vacuums, dustbusters, mops, brooms, potato mashers, shovels, car jacks, hub caps, windshield wipers, etc, are ALL in the “kitchen appliances” category. Don’t buy them unless your wife has flat-out asked you for them. Ever.
The Christmas Do List.
1. Girls like knowing that their husbands think about them and listen to them, so get creative. What does she like to do when she’s not working, mothering or cleaning? Get her gifts that have to do with that. For example, I live on the internet via my iphone, laptop and ipad. Cool gifts related to those things would be awesome.
2. What restaurants does she like? Where does she like to shop? What events does she like attending? You’re going to have to think about it … but gifts or tickets for those places or things are a pretty safe bet.
3. Plan a night out for just you and your wife. “Plan out” means – you book the babysitter, you make reservations, you get everything ready for the evening. Your wife doesn’t have to plan anything. Nothing.
4. Jewelry and a day at the spa are always good. Even the promise of a day without kids is a great gift. I’d love to wake up on a Saturday and just be able to leave and not worry about anything at home. I could go for coffee, wander some shops, meet a friend for lunch AND supper and just be me. And not a Mom or a Wife.
5. If you’re still at a complete and total loss, ASK. Or call her best friend or her mother. Someone will help you.
Whatever you do, don’t do nothing because you’re unsure of what to buy or do. This SO isn’t about what something costs. It’s about knowing that someone actually thought enough of you to take the time to acknowledge you with a gift. I don’t need big fancy things, I just want to know that I’m special to someone, somewhere. Write me a letter, sing me a song or be “present” in my life. Gifts are given in many ways … make it count.
So this Christmas, make sure that all of the people you care about KNOW that they’re not an after thought or a last-minute idea. It truly is the thought that counts, unless it’s a set of screwdrivers, then you’re on your own.