Today I was out buying some groceries and had the absolute joy of being surrounded by ignorant people. Not one time, but three times did someone make a comment about my weight. I heard these words …. “Who’d date that”, “Fat Cow” and “Holy, Big Mama”. I’ve heard this crap my whole life, but today was an award-winning day of stupid. Today I feel like saying something about it, so I’m writing them a letter. A letter from this Fat Girl.
Dear Mr. & Mrs. Perfect that isn’t overweight and believe that based on that alone, that you are better than those of us that aren’t like you. I want you to know that you’re wrong. You are stupid. You are ignorant. And you are missing out on some incredible people, experiences and relationships because of it. You are the one losing out here, not me.
When you called me fat, it was shocking, I had no idea. Thank-you for telling me and because of you, I can now lose weight and get skinny. I wish I’d know years ago. Thanks Captain Obvious, I know I’m fat, you haven’t told me anything I don’t already know. Shut-up.
I am not a lonely loser and sitting at home pining away for a man. In fact, I’ve been married for almost 20 years to an amazing man, who just so happened to marry me in spite of my fat-ness.
Yes, a totally buff and muscular body-builder chose me to be his wife. Shocking huh? So maybe, just maybe I’ve actually got some value that’s greater than what I look like. Yes, he chose me, I didn’t kidnap him and force him to marry me.
I am not sitting at home eating cookies and cake all day, and in fact, I probably accomplish a whole lot more than many of you that are judging me. I own and operate two successful business, I have 2 of my own children, and am also a foster parent to a minimum of 2 additional children at any given time. I long for a day filled of eating bon-bons and nothingness.
I am beautiful. In fact, I get told that a minimum of 2 times/day by total strangers. I may not be skinny, but I’m attractive and people are drawn to my demeanor. I’m gracious, I smile at everyone, and I treat everyone with respect. I’d rather be known for that than skinny any day. If you would rather be skinny than a decent human being, your life is going to suck. A lot.
I have birthed 2 children, and as such, it’s changed my body. Frankly, until you’ve had a minimum of 2, 9 pound human beings push themselves out of your nether regions, you should probably just shush. Enjoy your 20-year-old skinny, perfect body and give me a call in about 10 years. Just sayin.
I live a VERY full and fabulous life. I am not lonely or sad. I live in a beautiful home and drive a really nice vehicle. I’ve written stories for magazines and have done public speaking engagements. People come to me for advice and help ALL THE TIME. Who knew a fat person could actually contribute something to this world? Craziness, I know.
I challenge YOU to look at the important people in YOUR life. How many of them are overweight?? I’m guessing more than a few, and somehow, you’re able to love them in spite of their weight. Why do you think it’s okay to treat me as “lesser than” based solely on my appearance. You don’t know me, what I believe in, what I do, where I’ve come from or where I’m going. The “extra body” that I carry does not determine my worth. I don’t judge you based on your slouchy pants, caked-on make-up, badly behaved children and bad breath. I see those things as exactly that, things. Things do not a person make.
I am SO very blessed to be surrounded by other stong, intelligent and world-changing women that ALL don’t fit the “perfect image” that society demands. Instead of judging me by what I look like, judge me for what I do. I’m okay with that, in fact, I challenge you to do exactly that. Call me on my mistakes and shortcomings, but don’t you dare judge me on the size of my clothing.
Thankfully, my parents raised me right, and I KNOW my value. I know my worth and just how awesome I am. But I also know that many overweight people aren’t like me and are struggling to just fit in and belong, so I not only wrote this letter for me but for them.
I am smart, I am caring, I am kind, I am helpful, I do things that other people refuse to do, I love my fellow-man, I’m a business owner, I’m a mother, I’m a daughter, and I’m a wife. I have a name and it’s not “fat cow”. It’s April. Never forget that.