Sometimes life hits us really hard, like square in the face with a very large hammer kinda hard. And quite often it feels like we’re not going to get through this situation and that we’re going to be stuck in it forever. But, I’m here to remind you that these experiences are only moments. They are not “forever’s and always”, they’re moments in a much, much bigger picture.
When you’re stuck in a bad one, that’s okay because it will pass. Get mad, get sad, scream, hit something, have a good cry or just shut your eyes for a while. Give yourself permission to react and don’t just try to block it out. It’s okay to be mad, and not understand why some things happen. Truth be told, it’s quite often our anger that brings about real change in our world. It’s the fire that fuels us to do something differently or better. It’s the voice that says, I do not accept this so I’m going to do something about it. Life REALLY sucks sometimes, and we’ll never change that but we can change how we react to it. But please promise me that no matter what, you won’t let a single “moment in time” take you down.
When it’s 3:30 am and your baby hasn’t slept for more than 20 minutes in the last 18 hours, feel free to be ticked off and annoyed. You’re tired. The baby’s tired. Your husband’s probably sound asleep and you just want to scream. It’s okay. This moment will one day be nothing but a memory, but for now, it is what it is. Acknowledge it but don’t give it anymore power than it already has.
When your best friend calls you crying because her life is falling apart, cry with her. Let her vent and yell and complain until she runs out of words. Let her talk irrationally and share the feelings that confuse even her. Don’t try to figure it out or help her justify it, instead breathe and know that this moment is just that, a moment. Tomorrow there will be new ones, some good, some bad but there will always be more.
When you’re standing in the grocery store and your child has decided that now is a great time to throw a massive hissy fit and is laying on the floor screaming, remember that they’ll eventually stop. If you have to pick them up and haul them out to the car while they kick at everything, that’s okay. Take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in this battle and it’s not like you can really reason with a 3-year-old anyways. Tomorrows a new day, and hopefully there’ll be less screaming.
When you have to put your children onto the school bus for the first time, you’re going to cry. And you’re going to have a really bad day, and probably a really bad week. But in a flash, their joy will overtake your fears. Their happiness will show you that you’ve done everything right and that they’re okay. Savour both of those moments … the fear of letting go and the joy in realizing that your babies have become little’s, and they’re amazing.
When you witness events and situations that are too horrific to even comprehend, don’t shut your eyes. Acknowledge them, and then do something to bring about change. Be happy when that story isn’t yours and be grateful for your moments that don’t include this.
And then thankfully, sometimes life brings us flashes of unspeakable joy. Things that are so amazing that words can’t even really describe how great they are. So amazing that we’re scared to close our eyes because they may disappear and be gone forever.
When you’re enjoying a good one, breathe it in and commit it to your memory. But don’t get so caught up in the wonder of it that you get stuck there. Remember it and then get ready for some new and awesome moments that are on their way.
When you see your kids interact with a puppy or a kitten for the first time, it’s worth remembering. The first time you hear your child laugh, or when they bring home their first report card. When you see someone you love achieve something that they’ve been working towards for months, stand up and cheer and remember. When your friend comes through her struggles and ends up on the other side in a much better place, rejoice.
If you can’t change it, acknowledge it, deal with it and then let it go. If you can change it, do that. Figure out why that situation sucked so badly and do something differently to ensure you don’t have to walk that path again. No one is expecting you to be perfect in any given situation so don’t be afraid to call your crappy moments exactly what they are, crap. But remember that after the rain, there is always a rainbow and your joy is coming. It may take awhile but it’s on it’s way.
Moments will always be just that. Moments. They do not need to be the end of your story.