To the Mom standing at the back of the grocery store trying desperately not to cry while her toddler screams uncontrollably, I see you.
To the Mom that has just paid a babysitter to watch your kids so you can go and sit in your car up the street and read a book, I see you.
To the Mom that has just dropped her kids off at Ikea Smaland to not go shopping but to just wait at the restaurant in peace until your pager lets you know your break is over, I see you.
To the Mom that has left the television on for the past 4 hours straight just so you can lay on your couch uninterrupted, I see you.
To the Mom that is trying desperately to keep your eyes open while your kids play at the McDonalds playplace, I see you.
To the Mom that is hiding in her ensuite bathroom while her children sit on the other side of the door crying for Mommy, I see you.
Truth be told, I’ve been you.
I’ve been the Mom that is so tired that I can no longer think straight. The Mom that is looking for places to hide from all the noise and chatter that just doesn’t ever seem to stop. I’ve been the Mom that gives up on everything that I thought was important, just so I could get through the day.
I’ve been this Mom and I’m still a friggin’ good Mom. I need to remember that. You need to remember that.
This job that we’ve been blessed with is not an easy one. It truly is a gift that we have been given and sometimes it’s a craptastic gift that you’d love to return, but you don’t. Instead, you wrap it up at the end of the day and reopen it tomorrow. Tomorrow has been my saving grace on more than one occasion, and I for one am thankful that the gift of starting over is always available.
Every day I look into the eyes of my children and I see me. I see the best of me and sometimes the worst of me, and that can be a little bit scary. But at the same time, when I look into their eyes, I see how deeply they love me. How they see nothing but their Mom. They love me in spite of me. They love me regardless of how badly I screw up or how many times I’ve failed them. They are my gift.
I wish I could always remember these words when I’m in the middle of one of my really bad days, because more often than not, I don’t. But in my heart, I know them to be true. I may have moments filled with nothing but weakness but those are actually the moments that are making me better. It is during these days that I find out that I’m actually a stronger than I ever dreamed possible. It’s in these moments that I realize that being a Mom is exactly what I’m supposed to be.
So next time you find yourself desperately trying to escape a moment filled with craziness and noise, remember that you’re not a bad Mom. You’re not broken, you’re not a screw up, you’re not a failure and most importantly, you are not alone.
Welcome to the Imperfect Mom club. It’s where all the Good Mom’s hang out.