My kickstart, getting things back in order week started off beautifully. I did food prep, set up alarms and food diaries in my phone, sorted out my vitamins and got things started. I had 2 days of eating exactly how I’m supposed and was on track.
And then it happened, I threw up. For the next 18 hours. For almost 5 days, I lied on the couch riding out the glorious sickness that is Norwalk. I’d love to say that it’s a fabulous way to lose weight, but it’s so incredibly awful and horrible, that weightloss isn’t even a consideration. I was more focused on not dying than stepping on a scale. LOL.
Just when I thought, all was good and I could get things going again, one of my kids came up from the basement and said “I went downstairs and my socks are all wet now”. Gah.
I went to the basement to discover that our septic system has backed up into our playroom and gym. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry as I stood there in the muck while I madly texted my husband to COME HOME NOW.
Thankfully, my children provided the distraction that I so desperately needed when someone proclaimed, “So you’re telling me that this is poop water”. Oh the laugh we had when the child that had discovered the flood, realized that he had poopy water on his socks and he started heaving and laughing/crying. Oh how I needed that laugh as I surveyed that wet and stinky mess.
That moment started a chain of phone calls to electricians, insurance adjuster and disaster clean-up people. It was workers coming into our home at midnight to survey damages and start cleaning. It has been a non-stop flurry of activity and work crews, but what it hasn’t been is order and focusing on my health. As usual, survival mode and just getting through took over and my desire to eat vegetables flew out the window with all of my basement flooring.
I’m starting to feel like the Universe doesn’t want me to get back on track and complete this journey that I’ve put myself on. I get motivated, and then boom here’s a wall. And then, woot, survived another obstacle and them, boom, here’s another speed bump in my way. I know it’s life and that there will always be bumps and lumps and things in the way, but I need to figure out how to take care of me while I ride them out.
I have no problem taking care of the problem, or the kids or the friends that are going through it with me, but I just cannot figure out how to take care of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suffering mentally or feel like I’m falling apart and can’t handle it. But what I get caught up in, is putting all of my time and energy into helping others and forgetting that I need to eat, take my vitamins, drink water, go for a walk. All of that, literally, leaves my brain. It will be 7pm, I’ll have a wicked headache, and I’ll realize that all I’ve had to eat that day is a protein shake.
I really need to get a handle on this, or I’m going to be floundering forever. So friends, how do I do this? How do I find the strength, or maybe it’s desire to put myself first? How does one find the time to do all they need to do for themselves on TOP of what they’re already doing for others? How do I finally find myself?
I’ve always said that losing weight and getting healthy is more of a re-wiring of the brain as opposed to just eating better. I know that I obviously need to eat for nutrition and not just for pleasure, I need vegetables over sugar, I need less crap and more goodness BUT I also need to shut off the garbage voices in my brain that are constantly pulling me off my new path.
Frankly, being more than 100 lbs overweight isn’t just because of chips and Iced Capps, there’s a whole lot of other things going on in my world. It’s those things that will make or break this journey and that’s one of the reasons that I’m so thankful that I have a diet coach. He gets to handle all of the technical and food stuff so I don’t have to think about that, and I can think about the rest of it. He can’t fix my head but he can carry half of this burden and help me find me again. He’s my voice of reason when I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels and getting stuck in a rut. I know that I wouldn’t have made it this far on my own, as I appear to be my own worst enemy.
I said all of that to say this … Find your people before you set out on any massive journey. People that will just be in your corner and will hear you vent without giving you advice. We need people who will guide us and lead us, but we also need quiet voices that will just stand there quietly and wish you the best. Find someone to walk the journey with you. Find people who will make sure that when you’re invited over or out, that they’ll have food for you OR will not spend the whole evening telling you it’s okay to “just have one”. In other words, find people who love you and want you to succeed. This is not something that you can do on your own, especially if you want this change to be forever. It’s easy to lose weight, or quit drinking or give up sugar or carbs for a season … it’s the long game that needs the extra love.
Find those “extra” people and hang on tight because there will be days where your basement fills with crap and you’re going to need them.
What did I learn this week?
- that we need an alarm on our septic system 🙂
- that throwing-up is NOT for adults.
- that I still have a long way to go, but that I’m slowly but surely getting there.
- that I have an AMAZING husband that jumped in and completely took over as Mom & Dad so I could be quarantined away from everyone to ensure Norwalk didn’t take us ALL down.
- that I have some really cool people in my corner
WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS JOURNEY? The best way to learn more about the Ideal Protein plan is to register for a free information session. You can find out when the next sessions are on this page. Anyone attending the info session will earn a voucher for 1/2 the registration fee should you choose to join the program. And if you mention that you learned about them by reading my blog, you will also earn a special welcome bonus. My coach is based out of Sherwood Park at the local Medicine Shoppe pharmacy and he and his team are INCREDIBLE. You can reach out to the Coaching team here.