Category Archives: The Road to Skinny

I’m SO skinny now … 4 weeks Complete

Well, I made it to 4 weeks and I’m pretty excited about how well I did. Especially since, I’m feeling great and haven’t felt all that deprived or like I had to give up a whole lot of anything.

I am a bit ticked off at myself though for having my glass of Coke Zero as it totally stalled my weight loss for almost a week. Apparently, drinking a litre of diet coke/day has made my body more than a little sensitive to Aspartame. Bummer Dude.

But …. here’s a picture of what I’ve lost.

20lbs-of-fat

That picture totally grosses me out, but it’s a pretty good visual.

In 28 days, I lost:

20 pounds – 17.5 inches and 1.5% body fat

Overall, I’m quite satisfied and pretty proud of myself but the end still feels so far away. I’m really trying to stay focused on how I’m doing and how far I’ve come, as opposed to how far I still have to go. My initial goal is 50lbs, and I’m almost half way there. So for now, that  is what I’ll focus on and not the next 50lbs after that. 

That’s always been my problem, getting caught up in the “big” (no pun intended) picture. It’s hard … but I need to stay in the “now” and not the seemingly impossible future. Today is what matters … and I think I’ve almost got my brain convinced of that. Thankfully, I’ve got a great support system and they’re helping me see “me”.

My husband doesn’t say a whole lot about my weight, good or bad. He’s watched me go up and down and has learned to just say nothing. But this time, when I feel down or complain if I don’t feel like I’m doing good enough, he helps me see things differently.  He points out little things that I don’t think about, and it helps.

My coach and the entire team at Bearspaw have been incredibly supportive and helpful on this journey. They let me whine and complain and tell them they suck, and they still love me. They have been an integral part of what has kept me on track. Thank-you Kerri & Josline … I love you A LOT.

And now we keep on going, starting with a protein shake and a salad.

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you. 

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.

Just keep swimming … Ideally

Well, week two has come to a close, and I’m still heading in the right direction. Down.

I’m losing an average of 1 pound and 1 inch every day. Not too shabby. At all.

Overall, it’s going really well and it’s pretty easy to follow. It’s not EASY by any means as I am giving up a whole lot of yummy tastiness, but it’s very doable. I’m still not exercising which I know I need to do but for now, I’m going to focus more on switching my brain to not eating crap and fast food anything. That’s enough for me. For now.

People have been asking what I’m actually eating in a day, so here’s a quick rundown.

Breakfast … You get one Ideal Protein item of your choice. I always have the Cappucino drink mixed up in my shaker cup with water and a bunch of ice. I really like it. You can also have a cup of coffee if you’d like.

Lunch … You get one Ideal Protein pack of your choice. I’ve tried a bunch of different things and usually just have a pre-made shake. I also make a huge salad with a bunch of veggies. (You get unlimited lettuce at lunch and 2 cups of vegetables). For dressing, I just use a mix of olive oil, vinegar, salt & pepper. Or I use Salsa because I love it.

Supper … You get to eat with your family, so no Protein Packs. I make some kind of meat, and then have another huge salad and veggies. (Again, unlimited lettuce and 2 cups of veggies for supper as well). I’ve been making stir-fry’s, lettuce wraps, etc.

Snacks … If I get hungry during the day, I’ll snack on Dill pickles, cucumbers or celery. In the evening, you also get one of the restricted Ideal Protein foods. (They’re restricted because you’re only allowed one of them per day). My favourite are the Southwest Cheese Curls. They’re spicy and yummy, and you get a nice big bag of them. They really do taste great, and I feel like I’m getting a “chip-like” treat when I eat them.

Throughout the day, I drink copious amounts of water as I’m a very, very thirsty girl. I bought myself a Coke Zero the other day, had two drinks and dumped it out. Surprisingly, it didn’t taste nearly as good as I thought it should. And I had a tiny little bit of guilt drinking it … if I’m going to do this, I’m going to do it properly. I’ve spent years only partially taking care of myself, and this time, I’m going all the way.

I’m feeling great, and the changes are already obvious. All of those little things make this journey a little bit easier and are helping to keep me motivated. I still want cupcakes and icing, but thankfully, I want healthy just a little bit more.

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you. 

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.

My Ideal Journey Begins

Surprise, I’ve started a new diet program. And an even bigger surprise, I’m actually happy about it. Today was my one week “anniversary” of starting the program, and my results are pretty amazing. But let’s go back a bit.

About a month ago, my friend Josline approached me and asked me if I’d heard of the Ideal Protein diet. I had heard about it, but hadn’t really put too much thought into it as I was thinking it was similar to Bernstein, and I CANNOT afford to go down that road again. She let me know it wasn’t like that at all and set me straight. We had a long chat about it and she explained how it worked, and how it would not only help me lose weight but help me feel better. For me, that was a big deal.

I’ve let go of my “need to be skinny”, and have more or less accepted how I look. What I’m not happy about is how stinkin’ crappy I feel all the time. I gain weight and I lose weight constantly. I suffer from headaches, food sensitivities, stomach problems, random pain, etc, etc. And frankly, it’s gotten really old. I’d like to say that my weight has nothing to do with all my issues, but I think that would be naïve. So I began this journey with the intention of changing my life, it’s not about skinny, it’s about getting healthy.

So, why Ideal Protein? Well, for me, it’s actually pretty simple. Number One. I’m lazy. Number Two. I HATE cooking and preparing food, so I quite often end up eating nothing until it’s midnight and I’m starving. Nachos and pop are oh so good at that time of the day, or toast, oh how I love toast. And well, that seems to just be making me fatter and sicker. I need quick and easy and ready for me. Ideal Protein gives me exactly that.

With this plan, I get 3-4 protein “packs” per day. There’s a tonne of different packs to choose from, so I’m able to actually get a pretty decent variety of foods to eat throughout the week. There’s shakes, bars, soups, crunchy snacks, puddings, pancakes, oatmeal, etc. I also get to have a schwackload of vegetables and as much lettuce as I want to eat. As a bonus, at supper, I get to sit down and eat with my family. I don’t get the pasta and/or potatoes that they’re eating, but I do get the meat and veggies. So before people question, yes, I’m eating real food, lots of it. Difference being, I’m not eating any fast food or sugar.

When I went into the clinic to meet my coach Kerri, I was weighed, measured and fat tested. And let me tell you, that’s a fun time. Nothing like finding out that your body is made of almost 50% fat, which I’m sure is wrong as I think it’s actually happiness and joy that fill me out, not fat. Just sayin’.  😉 She gave me this fancy little shopping bag, a shaker cup and helped me pick out all my food for the week. I also got a bunch of vitamins and some special salt for my food. I came home with everything and a little journal to write down what I eat, how much water I drink and how I was feeling each day. I ate the last piece of my birthday cake, read all the diet tips and prepared myself to begin the next day.

        

My first two days were horrific. My body was detoxing and apparently when your body is deprived of the Coke Zero that has become it’s lifeblood, it’s not happy. I basically had a headache so bad that I could hardly see, and just felt like death warmed over. And I was hungry, hangry kinda hungry. But when I woke up on day three, the world was a much brighter happier place. Just a slight headache, and not nearly as hungry. Day four – not even remotely hungry and having to remind myself to eat.

It’s not easy, nothing worth doing ever is, but I’m doing it and it feels good. I’m loving that I’m able to grab something to eat on the fly, instead of just living on diet pop. I’m actually putting good, healthy food into my body as opposed to McDonalds, Iced Capps and my special friend Coke Zero. I actually ate a raw pepper the other day. And apparently, I don’t need to put ketchup on everything. Who knew food would still taste good when it wasn’t covered in sauces or sugar? I sure didn’t.

Back to my one week anniversary. Well, I lost 8 lbs and 8.5″. Not too shabby at all and it’s definitely all the encouragement I need to keep moving forward. I also haven’t had a headache in 3 days, and that’s HUGE. 8lbs is nice, not having to lay in a room with my eyes shut for hours, is even nicer.

I’m going to be blogging my journey in hopes that it will keep me a little bit more accountable and “aware” of myself. I’ll blog weekly but you can also follow along with me on Twitter. I’ll be using the hash tag #idealapril and I’ll be brutally honest about what’s going on with me each day. 

I’m REALLY bad at taking care of myself, and I’m going to need all of you reminding me to put me FIRST. It’s been a long time since I’ve done exactly that, and it’s time.

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you. 

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.

The Fat Girl Responds

When I wrote my letter, I SO wasn’t expecting the response that it received. For 3 days straight, it was everywhere I looked. Facebook, Twitter and even Pinterest. It was shared so many times that I lost count. It became so much more than it was ever intended to be, as my words had become the voice of many. Truth be told, I had just written it because I was mad. I wasn’t hurt and I wasn’t sad, I was just a “fat girl” who was done.

I received more responses and private messages that I ever even dreamed possible and I thank-you for all of them. Many of them were sent with love and encouragement, and some challenged me and I first want to respond to those ones.

Number One. I’m Fat, and I totally own that. By calling myself that name, I’m in no way demeaning myself, I’m calling it like it is. I’m also a brunette with size 11 feet. Those are facts. “Fat” is just a word. Calling someone fat and lazy, or unloveable because they’re fat, or walking by while making cow noises is a whole different ballgame. There is a HUGE difference.

Number Two. Yes, I’m on a diet and trying to lose weight. Well, I’m actually not even on a diet, I’m on a journey that involves me taking better care of myself. If I lose weight, awesome. If I don’t, I’m in an amazing place and I’m happy. Me trying to lose weight, in no way, means that I hate myself or am unsatisfied in my life. My letter and my personal journey in no way contradict each other.

Number Three. Yes, name calling hurts. BUT I have MADE THE CHOICE to not let it hurt me. I’m choosing to believe that my outward appearance isn’t who I am. You can also make the same choices that I have. If we give people the power to tear us down, they will. Keep that power for yourself and kick the haters to the curb. Period.

Many of the other comments absolutely broke my heart, as the majority of the people that sent them weren’t ‘feeling” the same confidence and peace that I do. They’re feeling defeat and like they’re “less than” because someone told them so. Strangers and even “friends” are constantly beating each other down with their words. It’s so stinking sad.

I also received messages or saw comments saying “she landed a hot husband”, and “she scored with him”, or other things along that same line. Problem is, that judgement of how great my husband is was based on nothing more than his appearance. He is a wonderful man, and indeed I’m blessed to have him in my life, but you can’t tell that by looking at him. People were doing the exact thing that I was standing up against. I totally recognize that it wasn’t done maliciously and that people were saying it as a compliment to me, but it was still an appearance based judgement none-the-less.

Calling someone fat is one of the few “socially acceptable” slurs still floating around. Think about it. How often do you hear fat jokes and laugh? How often are you out with friends and an overweight person walks by and someone makes an ignorant comment? How often do you, yourself say “look how fat she is”? We’ve all done it at one point or another and it needs to stop.

Reality is, this isn’t just about fat people, it’s about people in general. We REALLY need to stop judging each other based on physical features alone. Why does it matter what people look like? And why does that determine whether or not we should tease or make fun them? Why can’t you see a person, and just think of them as a person, and nothing more? Why do I need to be “Fat April” as opposed to just April? If you spend time getting to know me and THEN decide that you don’t like me, thank-you. That’s exactly how it should be.

In all honesty, watching people around us quite often inspires us to become better ourselves. Seeing someone that’s overweight and thinking that I don’t want to be that, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Seeing a homeless person living on the streets and not wanting that life, may drive home why we want to work harder to avoid that. Seeing someone with tattoos all across their face or a million piercings may just verify why we choose to do or not do that. Noticing people and how they present themselves in itself isn’t a bad thing. Calling them out on it because it doesn’t align with your idea of perfect, IS.

I think it’s totally unreasonable to expect people to stop making judgements and to start only seeing people for what they are and not what they look like. In a perfect world, that would happen, but we’re not in that place. We are a society that is totally “looks” based and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’d love for us all to make a personal effort to try to not pre-judge people and hopefully, one day we’ll see a huge difference in our world. But in the meantime, I challenge you all to just be kinder to your fellow-man.

Make your judgements, but shut your yap. If you don’t find someone attractive, okay, don’t date them. If overweight people just aren’t your “thing”, that’s fine, choose differently. If you think super skinny people aren’t good looking, that’s your prerogative. If you don’t want to cover your body in tattoos, more power to you. This world is a huge place, we are always going to find someone who we’re attracted to or we have something in common with. If we stopped pre-judging, we might just make some awesome new friends. People that might really affect our lives, challenge our thinking or bring us unspeakable joy.

So the next time you see someone who doesn’t fit your picture of what the “ideal” person should look like, just smile and go on your way. I’m not asking you to stop and ask them out for coffee, I’m asking you to treat them like human beings. We all don’t need to like each other or become friends, but we don’t need to be hurtful. Be respectful. Be gracious. And for pete’s sake, really truly treat people how you want to be treated.

Frankly, our relationships shouldn’t all be based on whether or not we would think that person would look good naked or whether or not you’d “tap that”. If you’re not attracted to me, I’m totally okay with that. But don’t for one second think that because you “think” you look better than me that I’m thinking you’re “God’s gift”. I’ll be waiting for you to open your mouth and actually speak to me. Your words will help me determine your value, and if you choose to call me a Fat Cow, feel free to consider yourself “judged”.

faults

A Letter from a Fat Girl to the World

Today I was out buying some groceries and had the absolute joy of being surrounded by ignorant people. Not one time, but three times did someone make a comment about my weight. I heard these words …. “Who’d date that”, “Fat Cow” and “Holy, Big Mama”. I’ve heard this crap my whole life, but today was an award-winning day of stupid. Today I feel like saying something about it, so I’m writing them a letter. A letter from this Fat Girl.

fatdiet

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Perfect that isn’t overweight and believe that based on that alone, that you are better than those of us that aren’t like you. I want you to know that you’re wrong. You are stupid. You are ignorant. And you are missing out on some incredible people, experiences and relationships because of it. You are the one losing out here, not me.

When you called me fat, it was shocking, I had no idea. Thank-you for telling me and because of you, I can now lose weight and get skinny. I wish I’d know years ago. Thanks Captain Obvious, I know I’m fat, you haven’t told me anything I don’t already know. Shut-up.

I am not a lonely loser and sitting at home pining away for a man. In fact, I’ve been married for almost 20 years to an amazing man, who just so happened to marry me in spite of my fat-ness.

And he looks like this ….     Kevin    … so there.

Yes, a totally buff and muscular body-builder chose me to be his wife. Shocking huh?  So maybe, just maybe I’ve actually got some value that’s greater than what I look like. Yes, he chose me, I didn’t kidnap him and force him to marry me.

I am not sitting at home eating cookies and cake all day, and in fact, I probably accomplish a whole lot more than many of you that are judging me. I own and operate two successful business, I have 2 of my own children, and am also a foster parent to a minimum of 2 additional children at any given time. I long for a day filled of eating bon-bons and nothingness.

I am beautiful. In fact, I get told that a minimum of 2 times/day by total strangers. I may not be skinny, but I’m attractive and people are drawn to my demeanor. I’m gracious, I smile at everyone, and I treat everyone with respect. I’d rather be known for that than skinny any day. If you would rather be skinny than a decent human being, your life is going to suck. A lot.

I have birthed 2 children, and as such, it’s changed my body. Frankly, until you’ve had a minimum of 2, 9 pound human beings push themselves out of your nether regions, you should probably just shush. Enjoy your 20-year-old skinny, perfect body and give me a call in about 10 years. Just sayin.

I live a VERY full and fabulous life. I am not lonely or sad. I live in a beautiful home and drive a really nice vehicle. I’ve written stories for magazines and have done public speaking engagements. People come to me for advice and help ALL THE TIME. Who knew a fat person could actually contribute something to this world? Craziness, I know.

I challenge YOU to look at the important people in YOUR life. How many of them are overweight?? I’m guessing more than a few, and somehow, you’re able to love them in spite of their weight. Why do you think it’s okay to treat me as “lesser than” based solely on my appearance. You don’t know me, what I believe in, what I do, where I’ve come from or where I’m going. The “extra body” that I carry does not determine my worth. I don’t judge you based on your slouchy pants, caked-on make-up, badly behaved children and bad breath. I see those things as exactly that, things. Things do not a person make.

I am SO very blessed to be surrounded by other stong, intelligent and world-changing women that ALL don’t fit the “perfect image” that society demands. Instead of judging me by what I look like, judge me for what I do. I’m okay with that, in fact, I challenge you to do exactly that. Call me on my mistakes and shortcomings, but don’t you dare judge me on the size of my clothing.

Thankfully, my parents raised me right, and I KNOW my value. I know my worth and just how awesome I am. But I also know that many overweight people aren’t like me and are struggling to just fit in and belong, so I not only wrote this letter for me but for them.

I am smart, I am caring, I am kind, I am helpful, I do things that other people refuse to do, I love my fellow-man, I’m a business owner, I’m a mother, I’m a daughter, and I’m a wife. I have a name and it’s not “fat cow”. It’s April. Never forget that.

hystericalfat

The Road to Skinny …. I am So NOT Thirsty

I’m happy to report that I’m still trucking along on my road to skinny healthy, and overall I’m doing great. I’m down 12 pounds so far, I’ve managed to take my vitamins everyday, and I’m still riding my stupid exercise bike. I’m drinking water … ALL THE TIME. And for the first time in my life, I’m not thirsty and craving diet pop. Truth be told, I’d still prefer Coke Zero, but instead I’m drowning myself in water. Yeah Me.

I’m obviously still not in love with my new life, but I know that I’m on the right track. I know that the steps that I am taking are steps that I’m going to be able to continue taking for the rest of my life.  Fad diets and quick-fix things are no longer an option. This journey is going to take a whole lot longer than I’d like it to, and I’m REALLY trying to not think about it, but it is what it is. I’ve finally accepted that “this diet” isn’t just something that I’m doing, it’s MY forever, and I’m actually okay with it.

I’m not an unhappy and miserable fat person. I’m a very blessed woman and am surrounded by fabulous people.  I’ve had horrible things happen to me and I’ve lived through them. My mother is overweight and so was her mother. I’ve got genetics and bad experiences working against me. But I have nothing to blame my size on except myself. I put the food in my mouth, and I sat on the couch. I want to be able to say “I’m fat because ….” but I can’t. It’s time for me and quite possibly you, to own that.  Stop letting circumstance determine your future, it hasn’t worked until now, so give it a rest. It’s time to take control of our lives, suck it up, and choose better.

I have bad days and good days, but I don’t let either control me anymore. If I eat something I’m not supposed to, oh well. In fact, instead of tormenting myself with cookies and eating my way around them until I go back and eat 6 of them, I eat one and just be done with it. If I don’t exercise long enough or not at all, I’m not giving up and throwing in the towel, I start again the next day. Seems like a stupid little thing, but let me tell you, THIS IS HUGE. I’m owning where I’m at and where I’m going. It feels good.

My hope for those of you taking this same journey as me, is this. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that an entire lifetime cannot be fixed in a day. When you screw up, accept it, pick yourself up and do not quit. Make one “better” choice everyday. And please for the love of all things holy, stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog.

And now I’m off to drink more water.

Benice

I suck at getting skinny …

…well, truth be told, I suck at taking care of myself. I’ve got great intentions, and a fine plan in place, but my follow through sucks. Really sucks.

I hate pretty much all vegetables and really like chips. I enjoy TV and playing on my computer a whole lot more than I like going for a walk. I forget to eat until I’m starving, and it’s usually midnight when I remember to eat something. I’ve got issues … big fat butt causing issues.

But, I’m willing to give this whole “get skinny healthy thing” one more try and I know that this time, it’s going to stick. I can feel it in my bones … that’s a good thing right?

I’ve already done some things this time that I’ve never done before, and I can say without question, they’ve put my head in a different place.

I let my husband take before pictures of me. Not in a bikini, because frankly that’s just all kinds of wrong but in shorts and a tank top. I can say without question, that sucked a lot. But I can also tell you when I saw the pictures, it was shocking. What I saw in the pictures is NOT AT ALL what I see when I look in a mirror. Not at all. Why is that exactly? Why don’t I see what pictures show? I don’t get it.

I let my husband take my measurements. And again, that sucked, a lot. But I did it, and there’s now an actual record of the “before me”.

I weighed myself, and did NOT share that with my husband. It is written down for posterity and thankfully I’m still 30lbs less than my start weight, but nowhere near where I got to before. So annoying.

I’ve set alarms in my cellphone to remind me to take my vitamins and medications that I continually forget to take and then question why I feel like crap all the time.

I’ve let my husband make me an exercise plan, and I’m actually doing it. I absolutely hate it, but I’m doing it. I’m hopeful that the “you’ll start to love exercise” feelings kick in a lot sooner than later, because I am SO not feeling them now.

Thankfully, my group weight loss challenge started today, which means I’ve got a huge support system in place. My heads in a great space, and I need to do this. I am going to do this.

Today is Day Number One. It’s the first day of something awesome.

losingweight

 

*If you want to read more of my weight loss journey … check out “the road to skinny” section in this blog.