This week has been a very interesting one for me. As usual, I’m still struggling with eating enough and have missed a few meals this week. I really truly have no idea how I do it, I get busy and then forget to eat. My intentions are good but my ability to follow through totally sucks.
BUT, I’m still trying and I’m still going. My coach is a very helpful and encouraging voice and he always reminds me why I’m doing this. It truly is an awesome thing knowing that someone has your back and wants you to succeed. I also need someone giving me heck and calling me out on my lack of focus, which he does. So going into week ten, my goal is to not get myself in trouble, which means I have to eat, properly and on time. (Why is this so stinking hard for me anyways????). I know I can do this. Right??
What made this week interesting though was the “Make a Vision Board” party I attended. Which is where I realized that I have no vision for myself. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I like and I don’t know where I’m going. It truly was the weirdest thing. I was surrounded by people that had a plan or an idea of what they wanted, and then there was me. Who the heck am I and where exactly am I going?
I think I used to be fun, but at some point, things changed. I played ringette for years, and I was pretty good. I coached ringette and played softball. I liked to travel, I loved going out and being social. I went for walks, enjoyed going to the movies and concerts. But now, I have no desire to really do anything. I have zero sense of adventure, almost to the point where trying new things is more scary than appealing. I’ve become a creature of habit and do the exact same things over and over, and I’ve pretty much been okay with that, but maybe now it’s time for me to change that.
I became a Mom, I got sick,and then I was given the gift of chronic pain. I was the fat girl, who’s only real goal was to get skinny. It was the most obvious thing to make a resolution about, or to try and change because well, that’s what fat people should do. Get skinny. The other parts of me completely went away, and I became something new. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel deprived or like I’m missing out on anything, because I don’t. I love my life, my kids and my husband. But I think I’ve become too okay with just being content and blah. I need to have goals that are bigger than losing weight and stop eating sugar. I need to want more. I need to do more.
Which brings me to my vision board. It’s a work in progress, but I managed to kinda sorta make something. I found things I love, like rainbows, and some great quotes. I found some things that I need to work on, such as putting down my phone and remembering that I’m stronger than I think. I also found a pic of vegetables and the word protein because well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s not really a vision persay, but it’s a jumping off point. I need to find myself again.
I am a most excellent mother, a good friend and a decent wife. But I’m more than that, I just need to figure out what that looks like. It began 9 weeks ago, but I’m starting to get glimpses of the new me. A bit smaller, a lot healthier and on my way.
Week Nine has been about gifts, and this is what it gave me:
A glimpse into my future and a little bit of vision.
A great knock-off version of my beloved Iced Capp that I created with my Ideal Protein cappuccino Shake, a schwack of ice and some coffee. It’s not the same, because seriously, how does one improve on the perfection that is Tim Hortons, but it is filling a void.
I left my house, put on socks, wore some community shoes and joined a fun ladies bowling team. I am now a QueenPin that has absolutely zero bowling skills, and a really nice bowling shirt.
And pants that are a size smaller. Yes, I bought new pants. 🙂
- CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN? I could really use a weight loss buddy. I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.