Tag Archives: change

Week 27 – The Week of Results with Pictures. Gah.

Well … I’m about half way through my year long journey and figured that it was time to share some pics and stats. I’m not overly thrilled about sharing because well, I’m not a fan of pictures of myself, but it’s time.

We’ll start with Weightloss, Measurements and some other numbers.

I HAVE LOST:

54lbs

5.75″ off my chest

2.75″ off my bicep

7″ off my waist

5.25″ off my hips

3.75″ off my thigh

BMI is down 5.8 points

Body Fat is down 6.59%

Blood Pressure went from 153/72 to 125/72

I have completely come off of Iron supplementation and daily pain medicine. I can walk up and down my stairs without getting winded. I can kinda/sorta paint my own toenails, if I wanted to but that’s what salons are for. I can’t wear pants without a belt, but I haven’t bought a belt yet, so I spend a lot of time hiking my pants back up when I walk. I can see my feet.

And now for pics … at first I didn’t see too much of a difference, and then I realized that I could see more of the white cabinet behind me, so I’m calling that a win.

There you go, half way in and a long way from the finish line, but I’m still going and that’s better than I usually do.  🙂 Woot, Woot.

Thanks for following my journey and encouraging me along the way … this is ridiculously hard to do, and you’ve all helped me in some way or another. High-Five Friends. xoxoxo

 

If you’re considering joining me on this journey, the next info session will be held on October 11th. Yes, I will be there sharing again. Woot. Woot. If you have any questions, it’s the perfect time to come check it out. Sign up HERE.

 

Week 26 and a HUGE Reminder

This post is almost a week late because frankly, I didn’t know what to write about. My journey has become fairly boring and predictable, which is a really good thing, but it doesn’t make for a great story.

I was trying to figure out how to skip a week, and then Facebook shared my lovely memories and it hit me. This journey is far from boring, it has saved my life. Literally.

It was one year ago, this week, that I was having my 3rd round of iron infusions. First pic was my blood transfusion and the final pic was my last infusion day.

A year ago, I was pretty much convinced that I was dying. I had zero hope and I felt like death walking. I absolutely needed to change my entire life but had no idea where to even begin, so instead, I just laid on my couch and prayed for the strength to get up and move. It was the most awful and horrible time in my life.

My days were spent either on the couch, at the doctor’s office or at the pharmacy picking up yet another prescription to try to give me some relief from the pain and infections and horribleness that was constantly attacking my body. But the beauty in that is that it was this same pharmacist that pulled me out of the despair. It was his voice that said to me, “are you ready to get better”?

I truly don’t know where I would be today, if I hadn’t listened to him and started on Ideal Protein. I’d like to say that I would’ve figured it out on my own, but that would be a total lie. I needed a guiding and supportive voice and someone who was a whole lot stronger than I was. Suhas was that person.

So, even though my journey isn’t all that exciting anymore, it’s a story of hope renewed. It is my chance to live the life that I deserve to live. I am so grateful that I listened to someone else’s voice and made the leap.

My head was a liar, thankfully I ignored it long enough to actually start over. I’m thankful for my past, and thrilled that I will never visit it again. What an amazing gift.

What did this week bring me:

~ A Weight gain of 0.5lbs – Gah

~ A loss of 2″

~ Pictures that reminded me of where I’ve been and where I refuse to revisit.

If you’re considering joining me on this journey, the next info session will be held on October 11th. Yes, I will be there sharing again. Woot. Woot. If you have any questions, it’s the perfect time to come check it out. Sign up HERE.

Week Nine: Hard to look ahead when you have No Vision

This week has been a very interesting one for me. As usual, I’m still struggling with eating enough and have missed a few meals this week. I really truly have no idea how I do it, I get busy and then forget to eat. My intentions are good but my ability to follow through totally sucks.

BUT, I’m still trying and I’m still going. My coach is a very helpful and encouraging voice and he always reminds me why I’m doing this. It truly is an awesome thing knowing that someone has your back and wants you to succeed. I also need someone giving me heck and calling me out on my lack of focus, which he does. So going into week ten, my goal is to not get myself in trouble, which means I have to eat, properly and on time. (Why is this so stinking hard for me anyways????). I know I can do this. Right??

What made this week interesting though was the “Make a Vision Board” party I attended. Which is where I realized that I have no vision for myself. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know what I like and I don’t know where I’m going. It truly was the weirdest thing. I was surrounded by people that had a plan or an idea of what they wanted, and then there was me. Who the heck am I and where exactly am I going?

I think I used to be fun, but at some point, things changed. I played ringette for years, and I was pretty good. I coached ringette and played softball. I liked to travel, I loved going out and being social. I went for walks, enjoyed going to the movies and concerts. But now, I have no desire to really do anything. I have zero sense of adventure, almost to the point where trying new things is more scary than appealing. I’ve become a creature of habit and do the exact same things over and over, and I’ve pretty much been okay with that, but maybe now it’s time for me to change that.

I became a Mom, I got sick,and then I was given the gift of chronic pain. I was the fat girl, who’s only real goal was to get skinny. It was the most obvious thing to make a resolution about, or to try and change because well, that’s what fat people should do. Get skinny. The other parts of me completely went away, and I became something new. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel deprived or like I’m missing out on anything, because I don’t. I love my life, my kids and my husband. But I think I’ve become too okay with just being content and blah. I need to have goals that are bigger than losing weight and stop eating sugar. I need to want more. I need to do more.

Which brings me to my vision board. It’s a work in progress, but I managed to kinda sorta make something. I found things I love, like rainbows, and some great quotes. I found some things that I need to work on, such as putting down my phone and remembering that I’m stronger than I think. I also found a pic of vegetables and the word protein because well, that’s pretty self-explanatory. It’s not really a vision persay, but it’s a jumping off point. I need to find myself again.

 

 

I am a most excellent mother, a good friend and a decent wife. But I’m more than that, I just need to figure out what that looks like. It began 9 weeks ago, but I’m starting to get glimpses of the new me. A bit smaller, a lot healthier and on my way.

Week Nine has been about gifts, and this is what it gave me:

A glimpse into my future and a little bit of vision.

A great knock-off version of my beloved Iced Capp that I created with my Ideal Protein cappuccino Shake, a schwack of ice and some coffee. It’s not the same, because seriously, how does one improve on the perfection that is Tim Hortons, but it is filling a void.

I left my house, put on socks, wore some community shoes and joined a fun ladies bowling team. I am now a QueenPin that has absolutely zero bowling skills, and a really nice bowling shirt.

And pants that are a size smaller. Yes, I bought new pants.  🙂

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  I could really use a weight loss buddy.  I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Week Eight and Losing Faith

This has been a really discouraging week for me.

I allowed myself to focus on the numbers on the scale as opposed to measuring my success by the way I felt. I’ve never really cared about what I weighed or what I looked like, but now all of the sudden, I was focusing on that. The size of my jeans is effecting the state of mind.

When I look at how far I need to go to get to a healthy weight, it’s terrifying, and frankly, how in the heck is this going to even happen? And how long will it actually take? And am I totally setting myself to fail at this for the gazillionith time? Will my outside ever match my inside? Can I do this?

In my head, I know that the changes and the improvements that I’m feeling are massive, but why are they falling to the wayside? Why am I thinking about number of pounds lost as opposed to how little pain I am in now? How have I forgotten about my how much clearer my head is and how much better I feel in general? How does something that I’ve never really cared all that much about have this much power in my head? Why does this need to happen?

It took me almost 45 years to get to the place I am, and even though part of me knows that my world can’t change overnight, I still want that. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see that I am done. I want to be able to eat whatever I want, wear whatever I want and not have to constantly think about all of the ways I’ve screwed up or how I’ve failed. I want to just be a normal person that no one looks at and judges because of the size I am or the foods that I’m putting in my mouth. I want to not be where I am physically. I want to think about something else.

This is a horrible place to be. A stinking, rotten, mind messing up, place to be.

At least it was. Thankfully, I managed to wake up and after about 5 days of nonsense, I remembered what I’m really working towards. It’s not about a size. It’s not about a reflection in a mirror. And it most certainly isn’t about a number on a scale.

It’s about life. And not living the one that I’ve been trapped in for the last few years. It’s about fixing something that I’ve broken. And obviously, I’ve got to start working on my brain and reminding it of what this is truly about.

It’s not about skinny. It’s about losing myself and finding me. In spite of the numbers.

Week Eight gave me this:

5 days of mental torment and disbelief.

A reminder of why I’m doing this and where I’m going.

And leggings. I wore leggings in public, which I’m still not convinced is the right choice for a fat girl, but it was either that or the super large lumberjack pants. No one laughed at me, so I’m calling that a win.

No weigh-in this week though as I picked up the plague from one of the 7, and am languishing on the couch with throat drops and Advil which frankly, I’m looking at as a gift. This was not the week to step on a scale.

As I move forward, I acknowledge that I don’t have to be strong and perfect all the time. Instead, I need to just be okay. And happy. And kind to myself. The rest of it is just cake. Or at least one day, it will be.  🙂

 

 

  • WANT TO JOIN ME? I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share, and I could use a weight loss buddy. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

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Expecting Something Different

I know that we’re supposed to forgive and forget, and for the most part I’m able to do that. Well, not so much the forget part, but I am pretty good at forgiving. You hurt me and/or my family, and sincerely ask for forgiveness and you will get it. What you won’t necessarily receive is trust and “forgetfulness”.

Problem is, so many times we expect people to react differently than how they always have. We assume that they are going to see our despair or disappointment and not do that again. But then it happens, again, and we just stand there and take it.

Who’s fault is that? Theirs or ours?

At what point should we stop accepting the same old, same old and demand better? When should we stand up and say, I love you but you can be a real jerk. What day do we look at ourselves in the mirror and decide that enough is enough and just walk away?

So often in life, we begin relationships with people and we fall so deeply in love, or like and life that we spend a lot of time turning the other cheek. We decide that there are so many awesome things about them that we can just accept these little quirks or differences. And usually, that’s okay.

Slurping soup, leaving laundry all over the floor, stealing your shoes, listening to crappy music or loving really dumb movies. Those things are okay … annoying as all get out, but okay. But when their fun is at your expense, or when their needs and desires are ALWAYS put ahead of yours, something is wrong.

Relationships won’t always be equal, but more often than not, they should be. There should be more joy than sorrow, more peace than strife and more team than leader and follower. You shouldn’t have to sit there waiting, and hoping and expecting people to become something different from how they’ve always been. It is possible, but it shouldn’t occur at the expense of you.

I want to say that’s it and that even though this relationship means so much to me, I need to matter too. I want to turn around and run away.

But I can’t.

I don’t want to give up on people. I want to continue to expect more. So instead of walking away, I’m choosing to hang on for hope and change and something better. But from now on, I’m done accepting treatment that is less than anything I deserve.

I will expect, but I will not accept.

Now where are you in this equation? What relationships in your world need to have a playing field levelled out? Fix them. We need each other.

 

Everyday, Ordinary People

As most of you know, my husband and I are foster parents and have been for the last 13 years or so. We’ve had over 20 kids enter our lives and that number continues to grow.  My parents started fostering when I was 12 years old so I’ve also been blessed to have many foster brothers and sisters to call my own. This has been my “story” for the past 28 years and frankly it’s all I know.

People tell me all the time that the job we do is amazing. How much they admire us, and how they could never do what we do. I’ve heard that the world needs more people like us. That we must have the patience of saints. People thank us, congratulate us and pat us on the back.

But here’s what I have to say to all of that.

We are no different from anyone else … we just chose to try.

What we’re doing isn’t rocket science, or anything that’s really all that out of the ordinary. We are parenting the exact same way but with extras. We are still the same parents as we were before they moved in. We are exactly like you.

Our lives are so not perfect, just like yours. We have really, really bad days, just like you. We pray for more patience, more income and more free time in our days. We laugh, we cry and we have complete and total meltdowns. Just like you.

We have struggles and challenges that are “different from yours, but that’s all they are, they’re different. We see hurts and pain up close and personal, but we’re all surrounded by that, we just don’t always notice. We have more bodies sitting around the table at meal times, but who doesn’t like having company over? Our world is quite often chaotic, but isn’t yours? We just call it for what it is….Life.

Being a foster parent isn’t something reserved for a “special kind of person”, it’s a journey worth considering. It truly is an honour and a privilege to be able to say that I’m someone’s Mom. And in my case, those blessings are many.

If you’re even remotely considering giving it a try, send me a message. I’d love to help you make a difference. All it takes is everyday, ordinary people willing to give kids a chance. Are you that person?

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to follow along with all of us “challengers”, click on their links below.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

I see nothing and I REALLY need to see.

Its been an interesting couple of weeks in my weight-loss, get healthy journey. I’ve had my pants fall down in public, all of my shirts have become off-the-shoulder looks and my shoes are too wide for my feet. People are starting to notice a change in my appearance, which is nice to hear, because I’m just not seeing it. I’m feeling it, but I’m not seeing it.

I feel like I should be doing better, I should be losing quicker, and my changes should be more obvious. Somewhere in the back of my head, I know that I need to get my head to shut-up and just be satisfied with my progress so far. Why is that so hard, why do I continually get stuck on the big picture and just how stinking far I have to go?

I’m discouraged and disheartened, but I’m not really. I’m completely unsatisfied with my progress, but I’m also pleased. How does that even make sense? My brain annoys me.

So instead of focusing on nonsense,  I will wait and I will continue pushing forward. I’ll keep eating my protein, drinking my water and continually chewing my veggies. One day I’m going to look in the mirror and I’m going to see it. Until then, I’m trying to trust what I know.

I’m 22 lbs and 32 inches smaller. And that is something to be proud of.

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I’m following the Ideal Protein Plan. IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you.

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.