Tag Archives: getting healthy

Week 26 and a HUGE Reminder

This post is almost a week late because frankly, I didn’t know what to write about. My journey has become fairly boring and predictable, which is a really good thing, but it doesn’t make for a great story.

I was trying to figure out how to skip a week, and then Facebook shared my lovely memories and it hit me. This journey is far from boring, it has saved my life. Literally.

It was one year ago, this week, that I was having my 3rd round of iron infusions. First pic was my blood transfusion and the final pic was my last infusion day.

A year ago, I was pretty much convinced that I was dying. I had zero hope and I felt like death walking. I absolutely needed to change my entire life but had no idea where to even begin, so instead, I just laid on my couch and prayed for the strength to get up and move. It was the most awful and horrible time in my life.

My days were spent either on the couch, at the doctor’s office or at the pharmacy picking up yet another prescription to try to give me some relief from the pain and infections and horribleness that was constantly attacking my body. But the beauty in that is that it was this same pharmacist that pulled me out of the despair. It was his voice that said to me, “are you ready to get better”?

I truly don’t know where I would be today, if I hadn’t listened to him and started on Ideal Protein. I’d like to say that I would’ve figured it out on my own, but that would be a total lie. I needed a guiding and supportive voice and someone who was a whole lot stronger than I was. Suhas was that person.

So, even though my journey isn’t all that exciting anymore, it’s a story of hope renewed. It is my chance to live the life that I deserve to live. I am so grateful that I listened to someone else’s voice and made the leap.

My head was a liar, thankfully I ignored it long enough to actually start over. I’m thankful for my past, and thrilled that I will never visit it again. What an amazing gift.

What did this week bring me:

~ A Weight gain of 0.5lbs – Gah

~ A loss of 2″

~ Pictures that reminded me of where I’ve been and where I refuse to revisit.

If you’re considering joining me on this journey, the next info session will be held on October 11th. Yes, I will be there sharing again. Woot. Woot. If you have any questions, it’s the perfect time to come check it out. Sign up HERE.

Week 24 and the things that are said to Fat People.

This past week was great, things are back on track and I’m feeling pretty good about keeping on. But in saying that, this is also the week where my annoyance levels with people have hit an all time high.

My goal in this journey has been to be very open and transparent and to talk about all the nonsense that no one ever wants to talk about. That means that people are also pretty vocal with me and though their intentions are more than likely pure, their words are quite often demeaning or hurtful. So, I’m going to reply to a few of the questions, and statements and comments that have been shared with me. Hopefully, my answers will help you understand me and my chubby friends a little bit better.  🙂

  1. Yes, I realized that I was gaining weight over the years, and knew that it was getting worse. I can also tell you that in spite of knowing that, I did look in the mirror one day and really “saw” it and knew it was time to do something about it. Don’t know why or how that happens, but it did. I do think a lot of overweight people, myself included, wear bigger and baggier clothes than our thin counterparts because we don’t want to accentuate ALL of our bumps and lumps. When your shirt is way bigger than it needs to be, it takes quite awhile for it to get tight so the weight gain isn’t immediately obvious. This is something that I’m struggling with now … buying clothes that fit and don’t hang. It’s weird.
  2. No, I can’t just have one bite or one taste or one sip. Sugar and crap food is mine and many other overweight peoples “drug of choice”. No one would dream of offering an alcoholic a drink or a drug addict a line of cocaine, but the second you say, I’ve given up sugar, everyone offers you “just a little bit”. Stop it. Please just stop it. By all means, keep eating and doing whatever you want but if we say, No, it means no.
  3. You have such a pretty face. That’s just a fancy way of saying “you’re fat, but at least you’re not hideous”. If you think I’m pretty, or look good in a particular outfit or if I actually managed to get my hair brushed and looked extra presentable, you can compliment me. But just say, you look great today. Leave the “pretty face” part out. May sound silly, but I can guarantee that a lot of us bigger folks have heard that phrase a million times, and it’s old and tired.
  4. Don’t make a shocked face when you see my incredibly fit and in shape bodybuilder husband. Don’t look at him, and then turn and give me the up and down look-over. Yes, a buff guy can love a fat girl. You would be surprised how often this happens to me and a lot of other couples I know.
  5. “I just stopped drinking pop and fruit juice, and I lost 10 lbs right away”. “Just don’t eat anything after 6:00”. “Just eat more meat and less bread”. “My cousin did that diet where you only eat grapefruits for 2 weeks and she lost so much weight”. “Eat smaller meals, 4-6 times/day”. Unless you are specifically asked by me or someone else for weightless or diet advice, don’t give it. Long term weightloss is about SO MUCH MORE than the food that goes in our mouths, its way more mental, and until a person gets to that place, vegetables and lean meat will accomplish zero. And odds are very good, that by offering it, unsolicited, you are hurting your friend and making them feel even worse about their bodies.
  6. If I call myself fat or fluffy or plump or chubby or whatever other word I choose to use, don’t correct me. “Be quiet, no, you’re not”, just reinforces the statement. Instead say, I think it looks great, or try a different size on. Or, lets figure out another place to sit, or whatever. Fat people know they’re fat, it’s not a secret. And more often than not, it is the reason why we can’t do certain things, fit in certain places, wear certain clothing. It’s not a bad word, it’s a descriptive one. And when it comes to clothes, don’t say, you look great if I actually look horrible. Suggest a different cut or a different size. We want to look nice too, and not like a fat chick stuffed into a skinny girls outfit. **If your friend says this repeatedly and appears to be depressed or really upset about their weight, have a heart to heart discussion with them and ask if you can help them. Speak with love and not pity .. pity does nothing but hold people back. Love & respect is powerful – give them that instead.
  7. If you’re concerned about someone’s diet or plan that they’re following, ASK THEM ABOUT IT. Don’t make assumptions or berate them if you don’t have all the info. And once you know and if you still disagree, and they are adults and able-minded, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Weightloss is a very personal journey and people have to find their own way. Hopefully their plan is more about vegetables than bacon, but if not, just love them and be there when they ASK for help.
  8. Having to lose 10 pounds and having to lose 100 pounds are two VERY DIFFERENT things, please don’t compare them. I will never, ever say that weightloss is easy, even if you only have to lose 10 pounds. But you cannot compare your 10 pound journey to my 100 pound one. If someone is 100 pounds overweight, their issues are WAY bigger than chips and drinking with friends. I have to give up and change almost every single aspect of my life in order to make this a longterm success, and it’s going to take A LONG TIME. I have to wrap my head around years of change and not a week or two. It’s different. 10 pounds is hard, 100 pounds is hard, but the journeys are not the same. There are ways to help and encourage each other – but comparison is not one of them. Instead, let’s go for a walk and share a nice glass of ice water.
  9. Have you had your thyroid checked? Trust me, our thyroids have been checked. We’re fat. Odds are really good that we’ve had our thyroid checked, as well as our blood pressure and if we have diabetes more times than you would even believe.  It’s actually very hard for an overweight person to be taken seriously in the doctor’s office because the first response to most doctors visits is “lose weight, it should fix that”. I was actually told that when my uterus was trying to kill me … yeah, that wasn’t because I was fat. Grrr.
  10.  Pointing out other fat people and commenting on how fat they are when you see them. Besides the fact that you are being an incredibly judgmental cow by doing that, you are calling me, your friend “Fat” in a very derogatory and disrespectful way.

I don’t say all of these things because I’m a whiny baby or because I feel sorry for myself, I’m saying them out of frustration. Overweight people are constantly judged based purely on their looks, and frankly it’s tiring. I was happy fat, I’m happy as I’m getting less fat and one day I’ll hopefully be a happy skinny person. But my weight and whether or not I lose it doesn’t change who I am. Don’t ever assume that it will or that an overweight person wants to be skinny.

Talk to me like a person, or a colleague or a friend and not as the fat version of those things.

We are all struggling and sometimes flailing and I’d love to just be able to not only be myself but be able to ask for help when I need it. Or to have the freedom to be exactly who I am at any given time. Even if I’m fat.

What did this week bring me?

  • A loss of almost 5 pounds.
  • A renewed hatred of celery
  • A clearer vision of what else I need to change to make myself more successful
  • A new kid, a crazier than ever schedule, and the realization that I can now physically do more than I could 6 months ago. Hallelujah.

REMINDER. If you want to check out the Ideal Protein plan and see what I’m doing and why I love it, please come out to an upcoming information night. I’ll be there sharing a bit of my story and answering your questions along with some other fine folks. You’ll get to try some of the products and will receive a discount voucher to use if you decide to join. Follow this link to add your name to the attendance list.

Ideal Protein Information Night in Sherwood Park

The Week 16 Woosh

It’s been 4 months since I started this new way of eating and living, and if I’m being completely honest, it’s been the longest and shortest 16 weeks of my life. I realize that makes zero sense, but let me explain.

When I started this, all I wanted was to just feel better. To have less pain and more good days than bad days. Less headaches, less shaking and a much clearer head. Losing weight was just going to be a side effect of all the new healthy choices that I was making. Getting skinny was never my goal.

But then it got hard, really hard.

I was feeling better, which I was very thankful for. But the “side effects” that I was trying desperately not to focus on were becoming my measurement of success. These things were tangible. I could look in a mirror and see a difference. I could stand on the scale and watch the numbers go down. I could buy smaller clothes. I could pick up something off the floor without feeling like my body was in the way. These things suddenly mean something to me. My weight has become my measure of success.

In saying that though, I still don’t care what I weigh. Not the number anyway, well I think I don’t care. I like that the numbers are getting smaller, but I still have no idea what the number ever is. My coach always says Good Job, and I always have to ask if I lost. I really couldn’t tell you what I weigh. My weightloss has now become my measure of success, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I really don’t want to focus on my weight because the rest of the world already does enough of that for me, but my brain is feeling something different from what my heart wants. My head is in such a weird place as I try to work through all of these changes. I’ve never spent this much time trying to focus on myself and my needs. I’ve never really paid all that much attention to what I ate. Or what I did or didn’t do physically. Now I’ve got a coach that wants to know what and when I’m eating, and an Apple Watch that is constantly beeping at me telling me to stand up and move, or to Breathe and focus. This is, without question, the strangest place I’ve ever been.

Strange but good, and incredibly difficult all at the same time.

I’m having a hard time eating all the healthy food that I’m supposed to because it seems like it takes forever to chew it all. I used to have no problem eating 3 times the same amount in crappy food, and now when I look at my plate filled with goodness, I feel overwhelmed. Why do nachos and cactus cut fries just slide down your throat so easily anyways? I used to be able to drink 4 or 5 refills of Diet Coke when I’d go out for dinner, and now I can hardly get through 2 glasses of ice water. I’m not avoiding the good food, it just seems like it’s so much harder to eat. Maybe this is what satiated and full actually feels like. Hhhmmm….weird.

In spite of all these crazy thoughts, these 16 weeks have flown right by. I absolutely love Ideal Protein and the support that I’m getting, and I’m looking forward to all that comes in the next part of my journey.

I’m hopeful that the next 16 weeks will be where my “choices” become habits and that I won’t have to think about them quite so hard. That I will finally be able to shop in ANY store and not just the plus-size ones. That I will start to appreciate cooking a whole lot more. And that I will finally be able to stop thinking of myself as being on a diet.

I’m looking forward to just being.

What did Week 16 bring me?

  • A week in Banff with the Husband AND I stayed on plan. (I ignored the call of the Beaver Tail)
  • A new point of view in my brain
  • A new appreciation for cauliflower and how easily it can be turned into something super tasty.
  • I ate ALL my food this week, and I lost 6 more pounds. Guess eating does effect your weight. LOL.

 

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into  The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

Week Six and Not enough Lettuce on the Mountain

Week Six started with me not getting weighed in at the completion of Week Five. In hindsight, I should have made time for my weekly check-in & reminder to take care of myself. Apparently, I need to hear those words repeatedly because I still suck at it.

I was so proud of myself this trip because I pre-planned every meal for my family. Right down to the condiments and seasonings. I have never been that organized and prepared for a vacation before and I was looking forward to everything going smoothly. And it did, until we sat down to eat supper and I realized that I couldn’t eat the food I’d prepared.

I’d actually forgotten to plan for myself.

By the middle of the week, I’d run out of fresh veggies and started my usual pattern of non-eating. I drank a lot of water, ate my protein packs and lean protein. And then I had a burger. With a bun.

I fessed up to my coach, and his response was, “Could you have just not eaten the bun”?

Why, yes, yes I could’ve done that. But I didn’t. In all honesty, it didn’t even cross my mind to not eat the bun. It was a good bun, which I’m now craving. Which is a problem.

The crazy thing about all of this is that I don’t feel deprived or that I’m missing out on anything. I don’t feel all woe is me or sad about the decisions that I’ve made to follow this plan. I don’t really want and most certainly don’t need the things I’ve given up. My fight is against old habits, and automatic reactions and motions that my brain and body just seem to do on their own.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through a drive-through with my family and ordered myself something, only to throw it away once it’s in my hands. I’ve bought myself a drink, only to remember that I shouldn’t be drinking it once the straw is in my mouth. Or the burger that I’m about to eat while we drive to yet another appointment. It’s just another weird thing that I’m slowly working though. Old habits really, truly die hard. I am happy to report though that not a single drop of Tim Hortons Iced Capp goodness has actually crossed my lips in over 6 weeks, even though I’ve ordered a few. LOL.

My week on the side of a mountain was wonderful but I’m home now and all is right in my world. I’m back on track. I’ve got a fridge full of veggies and had my weekly reprimand and encouragement. It’s nice knowing that even though I didn’t do all that I needed to do, I’m still okay and I can still keep going. There’s a really nice peace in that.

No guilt and no regrets. Just another reminder that I need to think of myself sometimes. Not always first, but at least in the list somewhere.

That’s my challenge this week. Figure out how to be a Mom to Many without throwing myself to the bottom of the pile while I lift them up. This is going to be hard. But doable right?

Week Six brought me these gifts:

~ I lost almost 6 pounds.

~ The realization that I need new pants because I’m starting to look like I borrowed all mine from a very large lumberjack.

~ A great week with my family. Hamburger bun and all. I am blessed.

 

 

  • PLEASE JOIN ME. I can always use a buddy that’s in this with me. I’ve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

Week Five. Ankles & Impossibilities

After being in 2 car accidents within 6 months, I was diagnosed with Trauma-Induced Fibromyalgia 2 years ago. Since then, I’ve been swollen, inflamed and in pain. My hands, my wrist and my ankles have been constantly “puffy” for lack of a better word. It has sucked.

But since I’ve started Ideal Protein, the swelling and the pain have decreased dramatically. Dramatically. And now, I have ankles. I guess they were always there, but I can now see them and they’re just not a swollen mass at the bottom of my leg.

It’s not a big deal, but it’s something. It’s a reminder that I’m actually getting somewhere and that I’m getting better. These past 2 weeks have been hard, so looking down and seeing my ankle is exactly what I needed to see.

I made a commitment to follow this plan and make this my year, and I still mean it. I also know, without a doubt that I will finish what I’ve started. But this week, it’s been hard remembering that.

This has been a week of me seeing this massive goal that I’ve set for myself, and I’ve questioned my ability to power through it. And if I’m actually insane to think that it’s even possible. Is it actually an impossible task?

I’ve been overweight my entire life and unhealthy for almost as long, so it’s really hard for me to imagine myself as anything other than who I am now. It’s hard to envision something and stay focused on it when you’ve never seen or felt it before. I’m reaching for something that has never existed in my world. It’s a strange feeling.

I’m at the beginning of a seemingly impossible and ridiculously hard journey, but I’m still on it. I’m still going. And in spite of all my messed up and crazy thinking, I have ankles. That is good enough. For now.

Week Five Wrap-Up:

  • I’ve got no results to share with you as I went on vacation instead of getting weighed-in. 🙂
  • Swelling is still going down.
  • Almost everyone is now commenting that I look better. Not skinnier, but better. Which I like.
  • I haven’t quit. I haven’t given up. I am still here.
  • Impossible? We shall see.

 

 

  • PLEASE JOIN ME. I can always use a buddy that’s in this with me. I’ve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Winning at Week One

Well, my first week of Ideal Protein life has come to a close.

It went a whole lot better than I thought it would, a lot better. It’s amazing how much easier it is to be on a diet, without actually caring about how much weight you lose. There’s a weird freedom in that, a nice breathable kind of freedom.

When I look back on the week, the hardest thing about it was all the eating. For the first time, in a really long time, I made myself conscious of the choices I was making. I was eating on a schedule. I was satisfied when I was done and I felt hungry at the appropriate times. I wasn’t being controlled by food, I was controlling it. And frankly, it was kind of cool.

Day 3 & Day 4 were the days of massive headache. Apparently the body gets riled up and angry for a bit when you take away its crappy fuel source, and it starts burning its own fat stores. It wasn’t pretty, but some Advil, some salt and some electrolyte drinks later… I survived.

Day 5, I woke up and the inflammation in my hands was noticeably decreased. For anyone that knows me, they know that my hands hurt constantly, they swell, and I can’t overuse them or they just don’t work. I never would’ve thought that 5 days of nothing but good clean food, and no sugar would make such a difference in that particular area. Didn’t expect it, but I sure as heck appreciate it.

Day 6. I felt awake. Not the “I feel so tired” but now am awake kind of awake, but the kind where a fog has lifted and I can see.

Day 7.  Well it was just another day, and how awesome is that? I wasn’t focused on anything negative. It was just me, my veggies, my protein packs and it was a Monday. Who ever feels good on a Monday?

I really, truly didn’t feel like I was missing out on something this week. I didn’t feel like my life was ending because I couldn’t have an Iced Capp. I didn’t feel like I couldn’t do this. I felt like I was finally on my way to feeling better.

And now as I sit down to write about it, I’m actually having a really hard time finding the words to describe this past week, as my brain & my heart seem to have shifted. Shifted into a place or an attitude or a thought process that it’s never experienced before. I guess that drop into Rock Bottom turned something on. Or off. Whatever it did, I like it.

I’m super excited to see what the rest of 2017 brings. I’ve taken before pictures, weights and measurements and will share them some day. But not today.

For today, I give you this. My results from Week One. I’ve got less overall pain, less inflammation, a much brighter outlook, and I weigh 12.2 lbs less. I call that a good start to a good thing.

Week One. Win.

  • I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

The Road to Skinny …. I am So NOT Thirsty

I’m happy to report that I’m still trucking along on my road to skinny healthy, and overall I’m doing great. I’m down 12 pounds so far, I’ve managed to take my vitamins everyday, and I’m still riding my stupid exercise bike. I’m drinking water … ALL THE TIME. And for the first time in my life, I’m not thirsty and craving diet pop. Truth be told, I’d still prefer Coke Zero, but instead I’m drowning myself in water. Yeah Me.

I’m obviously still not in love with my new life, but I know that I’m on the right track. I know that the steps that I am taking are steps that I’m going to be able to continue taking for the rest of my life.  Fad diets and quick-fix things are no longer an option. This journey is going to take a whole lot longer than I’d like it to, and I’m REALLY trying to not think about it, but it is what it is. I’ve finally accepted that “this diet” isn’t just something that I’m doing, it’s MY forever, and I’m actually okay with it.

I’m not an unhappy and miserable fat person. I’m a very blessed woman and am surrounded by fabulous people.  I’ve had horrible things happen to me and I’ve lived through them. My mother is overweight and so was her mother. I’ve got genetics and bad experiences working against me. But I have nothing to blame my size on except myself. I put the food in my mouth, and I sat on the couch. I want to be able to say “I’m fat because ….” but I can’t. It’s time for me and quite possibly you, to own that.  Stop letting circumstance determine your future, it hasn’t worked until now, so give it a rest. It’s time to take control of our lives, suck it up, and choose better.

I have bad days and good days, but I don’t let either control me anymore. If I eat something I’m not supposed to, oh well. In fact, instead of tormenting myself with cookies and eating my way around them until I go back and eat 6 of them, I eat one and just be done with it. If I don’t exercise long enough or not at all, I’m not giving up and throwing in the towel, I start again the next day. Seems like a stupid little thing, but let me tell you, THIS IS HUGE. I’m owning where I’m at and where I’m going. It feels good.

My hope for those of you taking this same journey as me, is this. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that an entire lifetime cannot be fixed in a day. When you screw up, accept it, pick yourself up and do not quit. Make one “better” choice everyday. And please for the love of all things holy, stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog.

And now I’m off to drink more water.

Benice