Tag Archives: happy

Week Five. Ankles & Impossibilities

After being in 2 car accidents within 6 months, I was diagnosed with Trauma-Induced Fibromyalgia 2 years ago. Since then, I’ve been swollen, inflamed and in pain. My hands, my wrist and my ankles have been constantly “puffy” for lack of a better word. It has sucked.

But since I’ve started Ideal Protein, the swelling and the pain have decreased dramatically. Dramatically. And now, I have ankles. I guess they were always there, but I can now see them and they’re just not a swollen mass at the bottom of my leg.

It’s not a big deal, but it’s something. It’s a reminder that I’m actually getting somewhere and that I’m getting better. These past 2 weeks have been hard, so looking down and seeing my ankle is exactly what I needed to see.

I made a commitment to follow this plan and make this my year, and I still mean it. I also know, without a doubt that I will finish what I’ve started. But this week, it’s been hard remembering that.

This has been a week of me seeing this massive goal that I’ve set for myself, and I’ve questioned my ability to power through it. And if I’m actually insane to think that it’s even possible. Is it actually an impossible task?

I’ve been overweight my entire life and unhealthy for almost as long, so it’s really hard for me to imagine myself as anything other than who I am now. It’s hard to envision something and stay focused on it when you’ve never seen or felt it before. I’m reaching for something that has never existed in my world. It’s a strange feeling.

I’m at the beginning of a seemingly impossible and ridiculously hard journey, but I’m still on it. I’m still going. And in spite of all my messed up and crazy thinking, I have ankles. That is good enough. For now.

Week Five Wrap-Up:

  • I’ve got no results to share with you as I went on vacation instead of getting weighed-in. 🙂
  • Swelling is still going down.
  • Almost everyone is now commenting that I look better. Not skinnier, but better. Which I like.
  • I haven’t quit. I haven’t given up. I am still here.
  • Impossible? We shall see.



  • PLEASE JOIN ME. I can always use a buddy that’s in this with me. I’ve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Thanks Coach.

Today I had one of those moments that confirmed that I was on this journey with the right people, and I wanted to share.

I still spend a lot of time at the doctors office or in an emergency room as I’m still recovering from my 2 years of awful. I get checked out, prodded, poked, weighed and measured more times in one month than most people do in a year. Because of all those situations, I get told, A LOT, that I need to lose weight because that will miraculously make everything better. FYI. That’s a bunch of hooey & is nothing more than a canned response that is given to anyone that’s even slightly overweight. Which is wrong. (And yes I have the CT scans, Ultrasounds, MRI’s, and transfusion cards to dispute that “fat girl” diagnosis). But, I digress …..

Today, I had one of my regular appointments and I was actually congratulated by my doctor for making my decision to start Ideal Protein. He let me know that my Coach had sent him my lab work, along with a list of things that he was watching while I was on the program. He was impressed that he had been included, and looked forward to helping me on this journey, alongside my coach. He was excited that I was eating lots of good healthy food, and that my nutrition needs were being met and probably exceeded. He was happy to know that I wasn’t trying to starve myself and wasn’t just living on shakes. And most of all, he was pleased that I was being monitored and guided on this journey.

For me, it was nice being at a doctor’s appointment and not being made to feel fat and stupid as this isn’t about me losing weight. This is about me finding life and finding the right people to help me achieve just that. Life.

Thanks Coach for being on my team. And for taking me and my well being so seriously. I am grateful.

*I totally know that this sounds like an advertisement, but it isn’t. I am truly thankful to have a health professional that actually gives a rip about me, and if you knew what these last 2 years have done to me, you’d get it.  🙂  My Coach is Suhas who works alongside his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. If you want to join me, you can reach out to the Coach here.



The Lying Jones’s

Perfect Kids. Perfect House. Perfect Jobs. Perfect Life.

These are the things that we all talk about and think about. They’re the things that we foolishly believe are actually attainable. Every day, we struggle along trying to get ourselves closer to that pretty little picture in our head. But newsflash people, it doesn’t exist or it’s too expensive or lonely or boring or on the other side of the world.

Life is just way too short to worry so much about people who don’t even remotely affect your life. The people who truly matter and want to be in my life, love me exactly as I am. Why isn’t that good enough? Perfect is a whole lotta work, and frankly I’m just altogether too tired, too busy and too old to even care anymore.

No more keeping up with the Jones’s and no more pretending like everything is perfect. It’s time to open the blinds, take off the Spanx and let it all hang out. I’m officially drawing a line in the sand and being absolutely, totally okay with me, my life and all that I have.

SO to encourage you to do the same,  I give you this. My list of Imperfections. Probably one of the most honest & “I should probably be more embarrassed” about this than I am lists that I’ve ever written.

1.  My TV is on for probably 14 hours a day. I’m not always actually watching it, but I am listening. I don’t handle quiet well at all, so TV has become my background noise that is someway, somehow keeping me sane. Or wired. I can’t decide.

2. My kitchen is never clean. Ever. Like seriously, NEVER. And for the love of all things holy, do not open my cupboards cause well, the kitchen is glorious compared to the state they’re in. In fact, I haven’t washed my floors in probably 5 years. Thankfully, I have a housekeeper that comes in weekly because if she didn’t, my bathtub and floors would never get washed.

3. I don’t exercise. At all. In fact, the only time that I actually walk somewhere is if I’m going shopping. And in that case, I can walk miles and miles and miles. This may also be contributing to my fatness.

4. My bedroom is a disaster, a full-on, I should probably be grounded kinda mess. My kids rooms get cleaned all the time, because I threaten them with punishments if they aren’t clean. I’ve got no one threatening to take away my phone so my room has become a pile of small piles spread around the entire space. Well, that’s not exactly true – my husbands section is clean, but I’m going to take over his side at some point, and well … he may move into the living room. But he won’t be any better off there.

5. I drive a Lincoln Navigator. It gets washed 2 times a year, assuming Kevin takes it into the car wash. The bolts on the running boards rusted off so they were held on by bungee cords for almost a year, before I just finally had them removed altogether. I backed out of the garage and ripped my fancy power folding and heated mirror off. I repaired it with black electrical tape and with bi-monthly “repairs”, it survived a full year until my Dad fixed it a few months ago. The interior is also really sticky, and I’m not really sure how or why. I think I’m supposed to care more about the state of my fairly expensive vehicle, but I don’t. Not at all, and this may actually be the thing that kills my husband.

6. I own lots of Coach items. I bought them all on Ebay or at Ross in the States. I REFUSE to pay full retail for anything, not because I can’t afford it but because I can buy MORE things if they cost less. I need All. The. Things.

7. I don’t shower enough. I’m blaming that one on Motherhood and the fact that by the time my kids are all settled enough for me to get there, I’ve found 89 other things to do. Dry Shampoo is the bomb.

8. I owe money on my credit cards. I like shopping and buying stupid things. Enough said.

9. I have a Target problem. Not a little one either … it’s like an addiction that calls my name. It’s magical powers and red tagged – end of the aisles displays are too much for me to resist. I probably should get counselling or have my red card taken away.

10. I have no idea how to: start the lawnmower, change the oil, change a tire, make a fire, etc. AND I have no desire to learn. I have a Father and a Husband and sons and my best friends husband Drew so I really don’t need to know. I also have no issues with pulling the “I’m a girl” card to get what I want.

Reality is, I’m not perfect. At all. But I’m happy. Ridiculously happy, madly in love, blessed beyond measure, totally satisfied, content and full of joy. I am incredibly imperfect & all kinds of happy.

And frankly, I’d rather be happy than one of the Jones’s. They’re Liars anyways.


9 Days of Happiness

We are just more than half way through our 2 week getaway. We’ve been cooked by the sun, fed up at restaurants that we’ve never been to before and bought some of the ugliest basketball shoes that I’ve ever seen.

We’ve slept in resorts and our motorhome and the biggest argument has been over snoring. It’s been fun and refreshing, and we’re so thankful that we made the decision to go.

We’ve seen many different landscapes and smile at what is considered a ‘mountain’ in these parts. It’s also been weird to have such high speed limits everywhere, which is nice on one hand but 65 mph in a construction zone just seems so wrong. Almost every small town has a Subway and a Flying J, and we’re starting to miss Tim Hortons. We tried the Dunkin Donuts iced coffee drinks but they are NOT Ice Capps, at all.

Last night, we stayed at a fabulous little town called Lava Hot Springs, ID. We made some new friends at the hot pools and plan to return & visit them next summer. I’d recommend you check it out with your family too. Hot Springs, waterslides, recreation centre and river tubing. The town was quaint and filled with lots of great little shops and activities. Perfect place for a family vacation.

Today we continue on our journey west and will see what the trip brings us.

For now, we enjoy spending time with our little family. Many miles, much junk food and lots of laughs. For he record, We do NOT recommend Candy Corn M&M’s to anyone. Ever.

We are so very, very blessed. All family vacations should be like this. 🙂

Now, I need a favour from all of you. please consider voting for me at this link. My goal is to hit #25 on the list, the last of the best of the Top Mom Bloggers in Canada. Follow this link and vote now. Voting ends tomorrow. Thanks friends!! http://www.circleofmoms.com/blogger/mom-s-got-something-say?blogroll_id=110

Looks like we made it.

Twas’ the night before school and all through the house, not a child was stirring – because I’ve sent them all to bed. HALLELUJAH … my routine is back in full swing.

Tomorrow the Wiener 5 head on back to their happy place. Grades One, Four, Eight, Nine and Twelve are calling their names and beckoning them with promises of friends, hot lunches and homework.

Only two get recess which really upsets the 3, but when I point out that they no longer need to change into indoor shoes, they cheer right up. 2 kids will have “graduations” this year, one of whom will have to wear a dress. The last time she wore one, she was 2.5 and very angry about it. 2 are having to ride the school bus this year which is something that they have never done before. 3 have lunch kits and 2 refuse to take anything but paper bags. 3 will wake up with time to spare, 1 will have the morning planned out by the minute and 1 will have to be forced awake and out of the house. 5 will complain when I make them take the annual back to school photo, and then make me promise to not post it on Facebook.

Tomorrow, I will get to work in my office without being summoned to stop a fight. I won’t hear my name screamed an average of 89 times/day. I will be able to get my errands done without being begged to stop at 7-11 for slurpees. If I feel like going out for a coffee with friends, BY MYSELF, I can. I could also have a nap. Hhhmmm .. maybe I’ll just have a nap. An all day, my house is quiet, no one is bothering me kind of nap. Tomorrow, freedom will reign.

Have an awesome year kids. Hope you get the teachers you want, and have at least 2 of your best friends in your class. I hope you don’t have to bring home homework on your first day. I hope everyone loves the $100 jeans that you HAD to have. I hope that you don’t miss the bus as the walk is long. I hope that this is your best year yet and that your successes far outweigh your failures. I pray that no ignorant words spoken over you will stick. I hope that you will hear my voice when you’re presented with opportunities that you know are wrong. I hope that you will guard your heart and mind and focus on what’s truly important. I hope you know just how amazing you truly are.

Always remember that Mommy loves you. But please, get out of my house.


This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. Click on the links below to check out some of the other awesome bloggers involved in the challenge. So much awesome.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

Teachers, Tuesdays and Thankfulness

I’m fairly confident that we’re not all going to make to Tuesday based solely on this day alone.

I’ve been called names, spit at, kicked at and shoved out of the way. I’ve been hugged, cuddled, praised and given beautiful drawings. It is just one massive mess of boredom, excitement and loose ends around here.

We are officially “a mess” and WE are all very much ready for school to start.

I may tease about wanting to get rid of my kids and getting them out of my hair, but in all honesty, they’re more excited about going back to class than I am. (Barely, but they are).

They’re ready to see their friends, show off their new clothes and their pretty pink hair. There are girls to be chased and a final year of high school to be tackled. A new bus route and new friends. Volleyball, Basketball and Phys. Ed. It is time.

I’ve prepared them for the new year, and they are pretty much ready to be handed over to their teachers. But before I do that, I’ve got a few things to say.

First I must apologize for not getting every single thing on their school supply lists. I’m pretty sure some of those items are not even real, but anyways.  The soles of their runners are white though, so hopefully that’ll give me some bonus points. We labelled everything including ALL of their markers, shoes, bags, lunch kits and the 300 duo tangs. I promise to send no peanut butter anything, but I make no guarantee’s that their lunches will be healthy, all the time. They will usually be clean, and may or may not have socks on. But they will be there every morning awake, fed and ready for the day.

Secondly, I want to thank you. Thank-you for being their guide when I’m not there. Thank-you for keeping them alive. Thank-you for teaching them the things that I have no patience to even attempt. Thank-you for recognizing their positives when sometimes it’s easier to focus on negatives. Thank-you for taking the time to change these little lives every day. Thank-you for giving me 8 hours of peace and quiet daily.

I truly couldn’t do what I do, without you. You are loved and appreciated more than you’ll ever know. Please, never forget that, especially when I forget to send in all of their permission slips and school fees on time.  🙂

Here’s to another awesome year. C’mon Tuesday.


This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to follow along with all of us “challengers”, click on their links below. 

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

Hungry … for Nothing.

Had a weigh-in yesterday and I’m still going down. Losing more inches than weight but going in the right direction nonetheless. I feel really good, almost no more stomach issues, or random aches or pains, and lots of energy. I love the Ideal Protein program, and the majority of the foods. (Horrific pudding excluded). I’ve got an excellent support system, and all the tools and help that I need to succeed. My husband is amazing and is an encouragement and inspiration. My clothes are falling off when I walk, and I’ve only got one chin. Overall, I’m doing awesome.

But, I’ve basically become my own worst enemy and am constantly jeopardizing my progress. I’ve become a slow and steady turtle because I’m not eating enough. Period.

It’s such a weird thing to be going through. I went from being hungry all the time and eating crap whenever I wanted to, to always been full. I literally get hungry once/day and that’s it. And now that I’ve given in to the fact that I can no longer eat cookies and cupcakes and chips, food’s lost all its appeal to me. I just don’t think about it anymore.

It’s one of those good/bad things. I’m happy that I’m no longer controlled by food but have to get some new healthy habits going and fast. I’m just not very good at happy mediums. My all or nothing lifestyle affects me on many levels. Whatever I do, I do it to the best of my ability. All or nothing, always. Unfortunately when it comes to me and my health, there tends to be more “nothing” than anything. (Unless eating out of control for years counts, cause that was a whole lot of “all”).

I’ve got a new plan, it’s simple and silly but it should work. I’ve got alarms set on my phone to remind myself to go and eat. 6 times per day, to remind me to take care of myself. I’ve got food and snacks planned out, so I’m running out of excuses. Water, vitamins, vegetables, protein and happy thoughts are all at the ready. I can do this.

It’s time for me to replace ALL the bad stuff with the good stuff and I feel like I’m half way there. Hopefully, the healthy food and healthy life cravings kick in right away. I’m so ready for that.

So if you see me, please feel free to ask me when the last time was that I ate. I need help here people.


I’m following the Ideal Protein Plan. IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you.

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.

This is Day Five of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to follow along with all of us “challengers”, click on their links below.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

The Road to Skinny …. I am So NOT Thirsty

I’m happy to report that I’m still trucking along on my road to skinny healthy, and overall I’m doing great. I’m down 12 pounds so far, I’ve managed to take my vitamins everyday, and I’m still riding my stupid exercise bike. I’m drinking water … ALL THE TIME. And for the first time in my life, I’m not thirsty and craving diet pop. Truth be told, I’d still prefer Coke Zero, but instead I’m drowning myself in water. Yeah Me.

I’m obviously still not in love with my new life, but I know that I’m on the right track. I know that the steps that I am taking are steps that I’m going to be able to continue taking for the rest of my life.  Fad diets and quick-fix things are no longer an option. This journey is going to take a whole lot longer than I’d like it to, and I’m REALLY trying to not think about it, but it is what it is. I’ve finally accepted that “this diet” isn’t just something that I’m doing, it’s MY forever, and I’m actually okay with it.

I’m not an unhappy and miserable fat person. I’m a very blessed woman and am surrounded by fabulous people.  I’ve had horrible things happen to me and I’ve lived through them. My mother is overweight and so was her mother. I’ve got genetics and bad experiences working against me. But I have nothing to blame my size on except myself. I put the food in my mouth, and I sat on the couch. I want to be able to say “I’m fat because ….” but I can’t. It’s time for me and quite possibly you, to own that.  Stop letting circumstance determine your future, it hasn’t worked until now, so give it a rest. It’s time to take control of our lives, suck it up, and choose better.

I have bad days and good days, but I don’t let either control me anymore. If I eat something I’m not supposed to, oh well. In fact, instead of tormenting myself with cookies and eating my way around them until I go back and eat 6 of them, I eat one and just be done with it. If I don’t exercise long enough or not at all, I’m not giving up and throwing in the towel, I start again the next day. Seems like a stupid little thing, but let me tell you, THIS IS HUGE. I’m owning where I’m at and where I’m going. It feels good.

My hope for those of you taking this same journey as me, is this. Be kind to yourself. Recognize that an entire lifetime cannot be fixed in a day. When you screw up, accept it, pick yourself up and do not quit. Make one “better” choice everyday. And please for the love of all things holy, stop rewarding yourself with food. You are not a dog.

And now I’m off to drink more water.