Tag Archives: healthy

Week 27 – The Week of Results with Pictures. Gah.

Well … I’m about half way through my year long journey and figured that it was time to share some pics and stats. I’m not overly thrilled about sharing because well, I’m not a fan of pictures of myself, but it’s time.

We’ll start with Weightloss, Measurements and some other numbers.

I HAVE LOST:

54lbs

5.75″ off my chest

2.75″ off my bicep

7″ off my waist

5.25″ off my hips

3.75″ off my thigh

BMI is down 5.8 points

Body Fat is down 6.59%

Blood Pressure went from 153/72 to 125/72

I have completely come off of Iron supplementation and daily pain medicine. I can walk up and down my stairs without getting winded. I can kinda/sorta paint my own toenails, if I wanted to but that’s what salons are for. I can’t wear pants without a belt, but I haven’t bought a belt yet, so I spend a lot of time hiking my pants back up when I walk. I can see my feet.

And now for pics … at first I didn’t see too much of a difference, and then I realized that I could see more of the white cabinet behind me, so I’m calling that a win.

There you go, half way in and a long way from the finish line, but I’m still going and that’s better than I usually do.  🙂 Woot, Woot.

Thanks for following my journey and encouraging me along the way … this is ridiculously hard to do, and you’ve all helped me in some way or another. High-Five Friends. xoxoxo

 

If you’re considering joining me on this journey, the next info session will be held on October 11th. Yes, I will be there sharing again. Woot. Woot. If you have any questions, it’s the perfect time to come check it out. Sign up HERE.

 

Week 23 plus a Few & Still Hanging On

It’s been a little while since I’ve written. Not because I gave in and quit, but because my life went insane. Who knew keeping 7 kids busy and on track all summer would be a tough task to accomplish? August was the month of seemingly unending doctors appointments, the moving in and out of kids, back to school prep and just all around chaos. I’ve hardly had a spare moment to think, forget about writing.

The good news, I’m still trucking along. At my slow snails pace, but still going nonetheless. A lot of the doctors appointments were for me, as some of my bad choices of my old lifestyle have come back to bite me in the butt. It’s been a pretty big reminder of how important taking care of myself really is. Not really caring for the majority of my life has left me with more issues than I’d like to even admit. BUT that’s okay, I’ll just keep going forward, I’ll just keeping choosing better and I’ll deal with whatever my body decides to throw at me as it comes along. Unfortunately, I can’t completely reverse some things, but I can most certainly stop them from getting worse, so that’s reason enough for me to keep trying.

I still continue to struggle with eating enough, and getting my brain to accept that vegetables are friends and not enemies. Every month, I do a little bit better, but I need to do more than just “a little bit” better. I need to stop being such a whiny baby and quit ignoring the reminder alarms that I’ve set in my phone to remind myself to eat. I need to not think about veggies as horrible awfulness. I need to just suck it up and deal already. I need to just stop hanging on and throw myself over the edge already.

As much as I appreciate feeling better and love that my painful bad weeks have become bad days, and more often than not, just bad moments, I now need to focus on losing weight. The past 6 months of “dieting” to get healthy have been awesome, but I’m now ready to diet to lose weight. My heart and my brain need a little switch as my journey is still so far from ending that I need a new motivation. Reality is, the more weight I lose, the better I’ll feel. I need the fat to stop crushing my organs and causing me pain. I need to be able to carry less of me around to give my joints and bones a break. I need my skin to stop rubbing on itself. I just need to not be fat anymore.

September 1st has always been my January 1st, so it’s New Years Resolution time friends. I’m now “officially” on a diet to lose weight. And for the first time in my life, I’m actually excited about this change and am looking forward to reaching some VERY close milestones.

I’ve been fat my entire life and I cannot wait to see what “not fat” feels like.

If you want to check out the Ideal Protein plan and see what I’m doing and why I love it, please come out to an upcoming information night. I’ll be there sharing a bit of my story and answering your questions along with some other fine folks. You’ll get to try some of the products and will receive a discount voucher to use if you decide to join. Follow this link to add your name to the attendance list.

Ideal Protein Information Night in Sherwood Park

And as a closing note, Thank-you for being on my support team by reading my posts, sending me encouraging notes and for joining this journey with me. This is tough to do, and having a team of people on my side really helps make things easier. Much Love to all of you.

Weeks 17 & 18. Game On.

People have been asking me about my diet and how I’m losing weight, as it’s finally obvious when you look at me now. I’m not going to lie, it feels pretty good that all of my hard work has been noticed but frankly, it’s the stuff you can’t see that I’m the most happy about. It’s also the stuff that I need to remember.

Lots of you know my crazy health story of the last few years, but just as many of you don’t. So I want to share what’s going on, so you have a better understanding. And hopefully, to also show other people dealing with the same nightmarish crap, that it can get better.

About 3 years ago, I was in 2 car accidents within 5 months of each other. Thankfully I wasn’t badly hurt in either one but on a side note, I did get to enjoy a ride in an ambulance in the dark, down a mountain pass, which was kinda fun. My body went through a lot in those 5 months, and after months of severe pain, I was diagnosed with trauma-induced Fibromyalgia. My main symptoms were localized pain – especially in my chest, hips and pressure points, headaches, internal tremors and massive weakness in my extremities. Some days I could hardly function, as in I could hardly do anything beyond lay on a couch and cry. I’m still trying to figure out what’s Fibro, what’s just being out of shape or just a part of being old. It’s a very confusing, horrible and awful thing to have that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

About 6 months after my last car accident, I got my period. Not a big deal, except that it stayed for 15 months. Straight. I’ll spare you all the gory details but will tell you that it wasn’t your ordinary run of the mill period, it was like a scene from The Shining. I’m fairly certain that I also single-handedly kept the Always maxi-pad franchise afloat for the entire year. I was poked and prodded, had ultrasounds and biopsies and CT scans and all sorts of other goodness with no real answers ever found. At about the one year mark, I received my first blood transfusion as I was basically a walking ghost that was starting to have trouble even staying upright. Within a week of that, I started iron transfusions. They were super hard on my body, as I was so depleted and weak, that surviving those was a battle of its own. I enjoyed collapsed veins, bruises and many needle holes but all of the delicious hospital ice that I could eat, so it wasn’t all bad. 3 months later, I went through the whole transfusion process again, and was finally approved for a hysterectomy.  I joyfully planned my Goodbye Uterus party, but within a month, my surgery dream was taken away as my BMI was 1 point too high for my surgeons hospital. To say that I was upset would be an understatement as I was still bleeding, and was so sick of feeling so awful. My surgeon was angry that I had been turned down so he referred me to his mentor who just so happened to be one of the top doctors in the province. In hindsight, I’m thankful that my surgery was cancelled as my body probably wouldn’t have handled it all the well and I would’ve ended up in a worse boat than I was already in. Instead, this fabulous new doctor said let’s start at the beginning and try the simplest things first. A week after meeting him, I had an IUD inserted. A week after that, I stopped bleeding. He did more testing and it was determined that I was very peri-menopausal, and that my body in all of it’s fabulous-ness slammed itself into that menopausal wall and went berserk. That was all that was wrong. Angry girly parts, and an extra early stop on the menopause train.

I was still very weak, in a bunch of pain and had an immune system that was hardly functioning. My adrenal glands and my liver were angry and very upset with me, but for the first time in a really long time, I had hope that relief was on the horizon. I knew that it was time to change my life and my habits but wasn’t exactly sure how. I was soon diagnosed with malnutrition, and I knew that my change would have to start with food. But how? I was 100 pounds overweight, suffering from malnutrition and living a life filled with pain. It had been 4 months of me pondering what I was going to do when I walked into The Medicine Shoppe and my coach asked me if I was ready to get better. I said Yes, and here we are.

So, what has changed?

  • I no longer have to take any supplemental iron, which you may or may not know, is actually pretty tough on your body.
  • I am no longer in constant pain. I now have bad days as opposed to always bad ones, but I almost always know why they’re happening. Stress & doing way more than I should cause me pain, but I can change that.
  • I now feel rested when I wake up in the morning, even though I only sleep about 5 hours/night.
  • I’ve more or less been able to give up sugar, and don’t suffer from the highs and lows that brings about.
  • I no longer spend half my day on the couch crying in pain or feeling defeated because I wasn’t able to accomplish anything yet again.
  • I have energy. I can think clearly. I feel so much better about myself.
  • I am losing weight.

It’s been a really rough couple of weeks, and I needed to write this all out, not just for you guys but for me as well. I needed to remind myself of where I was, and how incredibly awful my life had become. I needed to remember the reasons that I began this journey in the first place. I needed the reminder that I had to take time to focus on myself.

I’ve let life get in my way again. I’ve let circumstances control the choices that I’m making for myself and I can’t do that anymore. I need to completely buy into my program, and actually do what my coach tells me to do. I need to drink the water. I need to eat the food. All of it. I need to stop being such a twit and allowing my crazy life to dictate my journey.

I am getting better, which I’m very thankful for. But “getting better” isn’t enough anymore, it’s time to do better and just be better. Today I’m choosing to not be so complacent and just satisfied with being content.

I am a Mom. I am a Wife. I am a Foster Parent. I have 7 children, a cat & a dog. I have Fibro. I have an insane schedule and almost zero time for myself.

Thankfully, I am also really good at getting my way and finishing first. And that is exactly what I plan on doing – winning the game that I have been playing and losing all of my life. Consider this the beginning of the second half, that’s where the game gets the most exciting anyways.

Game-On people. Game-On.

 

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  There’s still lots of room on my team. I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

 

The Week 16 Woosh

It’s been 4 months since I started this new way of eating and living, and if I’m being completely honest, it’s been the longest and shortest 16 weeks of my life. I realize that makes zero sense, but let me explain.

When I started this, all I wanted was to just feel better. To have less pain and more good days than bad days. Less headaches, less shaking and a much clearer head. Losing weight was just going to be a side effect of all the new healthy choices that I was making. Getting skinny was never my goal.

But then it got hard, really hard.

I was feeling better, which I was very thankful for. But the “side effects” that I was trying desperately not to focus on were becoming my measurement of success. These things were tangible. I could look in a mirror and see a difference. I could stand on the scale and watch the numbers go down. I could buy smaller clothes. I could pick up something off the floor without feeling like my body was in the way. These things suddenly mean something to me. My weight has become my measure of success.

In saying that though, I still don’t care what I weigh. Not the number anyway, well I think I don’t care. I like that the numbers are getting smaller, but I still have no idea what the number ever is. My coach always says Good Job, and I always have to ask if I lost. I really couldn’t tell you what I weigh. My weightloss has now become my measure of success, and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I really don’t want to focus on my weight because the rest of the world already does enough of that for me, but my brain is feeling something different from what my heart wants. My head is in such a weird place as I try to work through all of these changes. I’ve never spent this much time trying to focus on myself and my needs. I’ve never really paid all that much attention to what I ate. Or what I did or didn’t do physically. Now I’ve got a coach that wants to know what and when I’m eating, and an Apple Watch that is constantly beeping at me telling me to stand up and move, or to Breathe and focus. This is, without question, the strangest place I’ve ever been.

Strange but good, and incredibly difficult all at the same time.

I’m having a hard time eating all the healthy food that I’m supposed to because it seems like it takes forever to chew it all. I used to have no problem eating 3 times the same amount in crappy food, and now when I look at my plate filled with goodness, I feel overwhelmed. Why do nachos and cactus cut fries just slide down your throat so easily anyways? I used to be able to drink 4 or 5 refills of Diet Coke when I’d go out for dinner, and now I can hardly get through 2 glasses of ice water. I’m not avoiding the good food, it just seems like it’s so much harder to eat. Maybe this is what satiated and full actually feels like. Hhhmmm….weird.

In spite of all these crazy thoughts, these 16 weeks have flown right by. I absolutely love Ideal Protein and the support that I’m getting, and I’m looking forward to all that comes in the next part of my journey.

I’m hopeful that the next 16 weeks will be where my “choices” become habits and that I won’t have to think about them quite so hard. That I will finally be able to shop in ANY store and not just the plus-size ones. That I will start to appreciate cooking a whole lot more. And that I will finally be able to stop thinking of myself as being on a diet.

I’m looking forward to just being.

What did Week 16 bring me?

  • A week in Banff with the Husband AND I stayed on plan. (I ignored the call of the Beaver Tail)
  • A new point of view in my brain
  • A new appreciation for cauliflower and how easily it can be turned into something super tasty.
  • I ate ALL my food this week, and I lost 6 more pounds. Guess eating does effect your weight. LOL.

 

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into  The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

Weeks 14 and 15, and Getting in my Own Way

The past 2 weeks have really sucked on the eating healthy to get better train. In fact, it’s pretty much been the exact opposite of that. It’s been two weeks of woe is me, I feel like crap, I look like crap and I really, really want to eat crap. Its been a two-week blip on what seems like a really, really long trip.

I’m still amazed at how easy it is for me to fall right back into old patterns. It seems to always happen the second I lose focus. Or the second I get so busy that I forget to think. Or when I decide that celery is pretty much the most awful thing and that nachos would be so much better. It’s so easy to forget.

The last month of school is absolute insanity for me as I’m in this constant state of running, and assessments and placement meetings and all sorts of craziness. It basically consumes me and in that consumption, I get stuck. I don’t eat, I live on ice water and adrenaline and hope for the best. Thankfully, this time I’ve had some healthy shakes and foods to keep me one step above starving, but as usual, I’ve put my very real needs on the back burner and just existed.

How in the world does taking the time to eat become something that you just stop doing? Is making a salad or chewing on some raw vegetables really all that big of a deal? I’ve spent the last 30 years living on toast for 2 meals a day, and now that I need to make better choices and eat healthier, it feels like food prep take FOREVER. It’s like torture. Who knew that washing lettuce and putting it in a bag would be the thing that put me over the edge?

I don’t have time to prepare food. I don’t have time to plan. I don’t have time to find the time. Now that I’m forcing myself to look at my life and my choices, I’m starting to see how much control food has had in my life. How it has always been this thing that was always there, contributing to how I looked and how I felt. It has been like it’s own living and breathing presence in my life and then I had children. At that point, my relationship with food changed. It kind of become a nothing, a “nothing” that consisted of eating whatever, whenever I wanted. Or eating nothing at all. My relationship with food has always been about extremes, and then adding the busyness of being a Mom and loving someone more than I loved myself, that extreme went out of control.

There’s a reason why women get heavier once they have children, they shift the focus from themselves and put all of it on their children. It’s what Mama’s do. It’s what Mama’s are supposed to. Food becomes something that needs to be eaten quickly and on the run. Or it’s the thing that comforts you at midnight when you’ve finally collapsed on the couch. It’s fast food, quick fixes and “whatever’s easy”. You make good healthy choices for your kids but not for yourself, because the focus has changed. How in the world does a Mom shift that focus back to herself? How do you find the balance in being a great Mom, and a great advocate for yourself? HOW DO YOU DO THAT? I just can’t figure it out. I can’t actually find the words or the willpower or the whatever it is that I’m missing to make myself a priority. I’ve heard the whole “put on your own oxygen mask before you help someone else” spiel many times. And the “what good are you to anyone else if you’re not healthy” statements more times than I can count. I’ve heard them, I agree with them, but I just cannot implement them. I just can’t find the balance.

As I work through this journey of losing myself and finding me, this is the thing that continues to trip me up. It is this, not Iced Capps and cupcakes, it’s ME. And a whole lot of excuses as to why I can’t choose better and just shut-up and do better. I know what I have to do. I know that the task truly isn’t that difficult. I know that I can find the time. I know that I’m the thing that’s holding me back. Now to figure out how to get out of my own way, and to stay out if forever.

I will not be defeated by busyness and a pile of vegetables. I am so much stronger than a head of lettuce.

What did these 2 weeks bring me?

A weight gain of 3 lbs.

More inches lost and more clothes to get rid of.

The hope that I have finally found the strength to put me first.

 

 

  • I’m super thankful for my coach right now and the Ideal Protein products as they are helping me through these tough weeks, and helping me find my way back. (And for those of you wondering, I am still eating, I’m just not eating enough).               CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  As always, remember that if you that you read my blog when you head into  The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

 

Week 13 and the Happiest Turtle Ever

Week 13 was a good week for me. I’m not sure why, but it was just a “good feeling” week. It was also a week of a lot of thinking and pondering and debating with myself.

As someone that’s overweight and on an never-ending diet, I’m the member of a lot of weight loss groups. I read a lot of posts, see a lot of new and awesome products and look at a lot of before and after photos. I’ve also been on more diets and followed more plans than I can ever even begin to write down. I’ve lost 100+ pounds on three different occasions. I am a professional dieter that has mastered the art of a quick fix and the ability to lose weight quickly. Problem is, I suck at changing myself and getting better. I can lose it almost as fast as I can gain it back. I’m so good at it that I should actually figure out how to add that skill to my resume.  🙂

Reality is, you don’t end up 100 lbs over weight by just overeating. It is so much bigger than that. It’s unhealthy choices, unhealthy habits and more often than not, the putting of oneself on the back burner. It’s about people choosing to put others first while they languish in the background. It’s about people who have lost hope and don’t feel like they can ever change. It’s about accepting where you’re at and either loving life or completely giving up. It’s about all or none of these things. Don’t ever think that losing 100 lbs is all about calories, because it isn’t. Trust me, my calorie intake is the least of my worries.

For me, I’ve always been floundering in the middle. I’ve never hated myself, never been depressed about my weight, never felt lonely or unlovable, never felt ugly or gross. I’ve always been very okay with who I am, despite of how I looked. But in saying that, I think that I turned my weight into a non-issue, which has both good and bad sides. I should have cared, not because of how I looked, but because I needed to think more about myself. Physically, mentally and spiritually. I deserved better than what I was accepting, and that is where I went wrong. I became okay with just being okay.

When I restarted this journey for what I’m calling “the first all-in time I’m on a diet”, my first instinct was to find the quickest and easiest way to lose weight. My first thought was that I needed to lose weight quickly so I’d feel better sooner. It still wasn’t about pounds, but it was about getting out of pain and discomfort as soon as possible. My head was still blaming everything on my weight, as opposed to my choices and/or my circumstances. BUT, I remembered my past diets and my crazy weight losing and gaining abilities and stopped myself from going in that direction.

I CANNOT LOSE WEIGHT AT WARP SPEED. I need to focus on me, my horrible bad habits, my historically bad choices and my lackadaisical outlook on life. My ability to be content in the midst of chaos and pain isn’t healthy. My willingness to give up all I am so that others may have it is an awesome thing, in theory. I’m just now understanding that I need to hang onto some of that for myself. I need time and a quick fix or a super fast loss will do nothing but change what I see in the mirror. Thankfully, I see that now.

When I started on the Ideal Protein journey, I knew that I had found something that worked for me. It’s forcing me to pay attention to myself and to actually be aware of not only what I’m eating, but how I’m feeling. The weekly check-in’s are keeping me accountable and keeping me out of my own head. Cause let me tell you, every time I see a before and after pic of someone that’s lost 25 lbs in 3 weeks, my brain wants to jump off my slow moving boat and get on that speedy one. This “diet” choice is also the first time, in all my years of dieting, that I haven’t felt like I’m on a diet. I’m tasting food that I’ve never even tried before. I’m feeling satiated after eating a big, healthy salad which still totally weirds me out by the way. My cravings for sugary goodness and midnight nachos have pretty much hit the road. And I feel good, my head gets a little bit more clear everyday and my body seems to be much less angry at me. This journey has truly been a gift to me and my family.

The run away from Fat April is not a race but a nice slow leisurely jog, and frankly, I’ve never liked sprinting. I’m one fine and happy fat Turtle.

Week 13 brought me this.

  • A massive revelation.
  • A new appreciation for my journey.
  • My worst bowling score ever. I SUCK at bowling.
  • Results. 33 lbs down, and 6 inches have disappeared from my waist.

 

  • CONSIDERING JOINING ME ON IDEAL PROTEIN?  As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into  The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

Week Eight and Losing Faith

This has been a really discouraging week for me.

I allowed myself to focus on the numbers on the scale as opposed to measuring my success by the way I felt. I’ve never really cared about what I weighed or what I looked like, but now all of the sudden, I was focusing on that. The size of my jeans is effecting the state of mind.

When I look at how far I need to go to get to a healthy weight, it’s terrifying, and frankly, how in the heck is this going to even happen? And how long will it actually take? And am I totally setting myself to fail at this for the gazillionith time? Will my outside ever match my inside? Can I do this?

In my head, I know that the changes and the improvements that I’m feeling are massive, but why are they falling to the wayside? Why am I thinking about number of pounds lost as opposed to how little pain I am in now? How have I forgotten about my how much clearer my head is and how much better I feel in general? How does something that I’ve never really cared all that much about have this much power in my head? Why does this need to happen?

It took me almost 45 years to get to the place I am, and even though part of me knows that my world can’t change overnight, I still want that. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see that I am done. I want to be able to eat whatever I want, wear whatever I want and not have to constantly think about all of the ways I’ve screwed up or how I’ve failed. I want to just be a normal person that no one looks at and judges because of the size I am or the foods that I’m putting in my mouth. I want to not be where I am physically. I want to think about something else.

This is a horrible place to be. A stinking, rotten, mind messing up, place to be.

At least it was. Thankfully, I managed to wake up and after about 5 days of nonsense, I remembered what I’m really working towards. It’s not about a size. It’s not about a reflection in a mirror. And it most certainly isn’t about a number on a scale.

It’s about life. And not living the one that I’ve been trapped in for the last few years. It’s about fixing something that I’ve broken. And obviously, I’ve got to start working on my brain and reminding it of what this is truly about.

It’s not about skinny. It’s about losing myself and finding me. In spite of the numbers.

Week Eight gave me this:

5 days of mental torment and disbelief.

A reminder of why I’m doing this and where I’m going.

And leggings. I wore leggings in public, which I’m still not convinced is the right choice for a fat girl, but it was either that or the super large lumberjack pants. No one laughed at me, so I’m calling that a win.

No weigh-in this week though as I picked up the plague from one of the 7, and am languishing on the couch with throat drops and Advil which frankly, I’m looking at as a gift. This was not the week to step on a scale.

As I move forward, I acknowledge that I don’t have to be strong and perfect all the time. Instead, I need to just be okay. And happy. And kind to myself. The rest of it is just cake. Or at least one day, it will be.  🙂

 

 

  • WANT TO JOIN ME? I have an excellent coach & team The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share, and I could use a weight loss buddy. They’ve graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

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