Tag Archives: losing weight

Weeks 30, 31 and The Big Nothing.

I’ve been so stinking busy that I forgot to write, not for one week but for two weeks in a row. It’s been non-stop appointments, sick kids, and the starting of a new business. (Which has been a total hush, hush project by they way). It’s been a lot, to put it mildly.

A year ago, being this busy would’ve been almost more than I could’ve bared, but here I am. Busy and not needing to go and collapse on a couch. I think that alone is my success for the month.

I am doing exactly what I need to be doing, and I still have the energy to do a little bit more.

When I started this whole weight loss journey, this is what I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel like a human being that wasn’t sitting on deaths door. It took 31 weeks and the loss of 65 pounds for me to feel like I’ve actually accomplished something significant.

You don’t really understand what chronic pain, the unknown and fear does to a person, until it’s pretty much gone.

This is a really nice place to be.

What did these two weeks bring me?

  • A whole lotta nothing … and the best kind of nothing ever. No pain. No Dr. Death feeling. No anything. I’ve never been a happier loser before.
  • Loss of a couple more pounds.
  • An almost ready to launch business
  • A new vehicle.

 

 

WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS JOURNEY? The best way to learn more about the Ideal Protein plan  is to register for a free information session.  They will be held every Wednesday at 630 pm during November at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park.  Anyone attending the info session will earn a voucher for 1/2 the registration fee should you choose to join the program. And if you mention that you learned about them by reading my blog, you will also earn a special welcome bonus. You can reach out to the Coach here.

Week 28 and Finding Joy in the VEEERRRY Long Journey

I’ve been feeling a little whiny and annoyed this week with this whole, stupid weightloss journey.

I’ve been having massive cravings for cake frosting, not cake, just frosting. I’m starting to get a hate on for water and cucumbers and celery. Well, celery is an eternal hatred but its getting stronger. I feel like going out for a big fancy fondue meal would be pretty much the most perfect thing ever, but only the bread and cheese and chocolate and cheesecake part of the meal. And pumpkin spice lattes, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m hating Fall at the moment. Not the season but my lack of #PSL goodness.

It’s taking FOREVER to reach the end of this journey, which I’m fairly confident will be a forever one, which is a whole other kind of scary. I don’t feel like I’ve changed all that much. I bounce between being okay with being fat and wanting to not be. I get mad at myself for letting it get as bad as it did, and then not really caring all that much that it did. Overall, my head is fairly messed up and upside down at the moment.

So, I turned to the place of knowledge and opinions, ie. Facebook, for some encouragement and found exactly what I needed. Many of my friends and acquaintances have lost weight so I asked them to share their milestones and celebrations from their weightloss journey’s. Their words opened my eyes and helped me to see things a little bit clearer.

Here’s some of their stories.

My SIL Charlene loved feeling comfortable with her shirt tucked into her jeans after her 40lb loss.

Being able to cross my legs – Jennifer

Stacey was thrilled to be able to shop in a store that wasn’t for plus sizes.

Zita was encouraged by milestones, like 10lbs, 20lbs, 40lbs, but achieving a 100lb loss was her mind blowing moment.

A few people shared that it was their progress pics that helped them keep going.

My brother Colin was thrilled to be able to do 25 sit-ups in a row.

When Sarah hit a healthy BMI and entered One-derland on the scale.

These were just some of their a-ha moments, and I’ve experienced quite a few of them. But after some thought, I’ve come up with a few more of my own.

I’m now able to sit in the chairs in waiting rooms, without feeling like the chair is about 17 times too small for my butt and that I’m going to be stuck in it forever.

When I go out for dinner, to eat my salads, I can fit in a booth without the table touching me.

I can see my feet, and I have ankles. Oh, and my size 11 feet seem to be shrinking. Hallelujah.

I have less of me in the way when I pick things up off the floor or tie my shoes.

It’s these moments that I need to take note of. Not the way off in the distance end results that I’m aiming for. Not the things that I’ve given up. Not the things that I’m craving. It’s these things that remind me of why I began and how far I’ve come. How far all of us on this journey have come.

It’s about Baby Steps people. Baby Steps.

What did this week bring me?

New pants that were FOUR sizes smaller.

5 people in my house got the Flu, and I DIDN’T! That is a massively big thing as I used to get sick at the drop of a hat.

I tried a bunch of new types of food … some were nasty, some were good. But I tried them, so that’s a success.

 

WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS JOURNEY? As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

 

Week 24 and the things that are said to Fat People.

This past week was great, things are back on track and I’m feeling pretty good about keeping on. But in saying that, this is also the week where my annoyance levels with people have hit an all time high.

My goal in this journey has been to be very open and transparent and to talk about all the nonsense that no one ever wants to talk about. That means that people are also pretty vocal with me and though their intentions are more than likely pure, their words are quite often demeaning or hurtful. So, I’m going to reply to a few of the questions, and statements and comments that have been shared with me. Hopefully, my answers will help you understand me and my chubby friends a little bit better.  🙂

  1. Yes, I realized that I was gaining weight over the years, and knew that it was getting worse. I can also tell you that in spite of knowing that, I did look in the mirror one day and really “saw” it and knew it was time to do something about it. Don’t know why or how that happens, but it did. I do think a lot of overweight people, myself included, wear bigger and baggier clothes than our thin counterparts because we don’t want to accentuate ALL of our bumps and lumps. When your shirt is way bigger than it needs to be, it takes quite awhile for it to get tight so the weight gain isn’t immediately obvious. This is something that I’m struggling with now … buying clothes that fit and don’t hang. It’s weird.
  2. No, I can’t just have one bite or one taste or one sip. Sugar and crap food is mine and many other overweight peoples “drug of choice”. No one would dream of offering an alcoholic a drink or a drug addict a line of cocaine, but the second you say, I’ve given up sugar, everyone offers you “just a little bit”. Stop it. Please just stop it. By all means, keep eating and doing whatever you want but if we say, No, it means no.
  3. You have such a pretty face. That’s just a fancy way of saying “you’re fat, but at least you’re not hideous”. If you think I’m pretty, or look good in a particular outfit or if I actually managed to get my hair brushed and looked extra presentable, you can compliment me. But just say, you look great today. Leave the “pretty face” part out. May sound silly, but I can guarantee that a lot of us bigger folks have heard that phrase a million times, and it’s old and tired.
  4. Don’t make a shocked face when you see my incredibly fit and in shape bodybuilder husband. Don’t look at him, and then turn and give me the up and down look-over. Yes, a buff guy can love a fat girl. You would be surprised how often this happens to me and a lot of other couples I know.
  5. “I just stopped drinking pop and fruit juice, and I lost 10 lbs right away”. “Just don’t eat anything after 6:00”. “Just eat more meat and less bread”. “My cousin did that diet where you only eat grapefruits for 2 weeks and she lost so much weight”. “Eat smaller meals, 4-6 times/day”. Unless you are specifically asked by me or someone else for weightless or diet advice, don’t give it. Long term weightloss is about SO MUCH MORE than the food that goes in our mouths, its way more mental, and until a person gets to that place, vegetables and lean meat will accomplish zero. And odds are very good, that by offering it, unsolicited, you are hurting your friend and making them feel even worse about their bodies.
  6. If I call myself fat or fluffy or plump or chubby or whatever other word I choose to use, don’t correct me. “Be quiet, no, you’re not”, just reinforces the statement. Instead say, I think it looks great, or try a different size on. Or, lets figure out another place to sit, or whatever. Fat people know they’re fat, it’s not a secret. And more often than not, it is the reason why we can’t do certain things, fit in certain places, wear certain clothing. It’s not a bad word, it’s a descriptive one. And when it comes to clothes, don’t say, you look great if I actually look horrible. Suggest a different cut or a different size. We want to look nice too, and not like a fat chick stuffed into a skinny girls outfit. **If your friend says this repeatedly and appears to be depressed or really upset about their weight, have a heart to heart discussion with them and ask if you can help them. Speak with love and not pity .. pity does nothing but hold people back. Love & respect is powerful – give them that instead.
  7. If you’re concerned about someone’s diet or plan that they’re following, ASK THEM ABOUT IT. Don’t make assumptions or berate them if you don’t have all the info. And once you know and if you still disagree, and they are adults and able-minded, there’s not a whole lot you can do about it. Weightloss is a very personal journey and people have to find their own way. Hopefully their plan is more about vegetables than bacon, but if not, just love them and be there when they ASK for help.
  8. Having to lose 10 pounds and having to lose 100 pounds are two VERY DIFFERENT things, please don’t compare them. I will never, ever say that weightloss is easy, even if you only have to lose 10 pounds. But you cannot compare your 10 pound journey to my 100 pound one. If someone is 100 pounds overweight, their issues are WAY bigger than chips and drinking with friends. I have to give up and change almost every single aspect of my life in order to make this a longterm success, and it’s going to take A LONG TIME. I have to wrap my head around years of change and not a week or two. It’s different. 10 pounds is hard, 100 pounds is hard, but the journeys are not the same. There are ways to help and encourage each other – but comparison is not one of them. Instead, let’s go for a walk and share a nice glass of ice water.
  9. Have you had your thyroid checked? Trust me, our thyroids have been checked. We’re fat. Odds are really good that we’ve had our thyroid checked, as well as our blood pressure and if we have diabetes more times than you would even believe.  It’s actually very hard for an overweight person to be taken seriously in the doctor’s office because the first response to most doctors visits is “lose weight, it should fix that”. I was actually told that when my uterus was trying to kill me … yeah, that wasn’t because I was fat. Grrr.
  10.  Pointing out other fat people and commenting on how fat they are when you see them. Besides the fact that you are being an incredibly judgmental cow by doing that, you are calling me, your friend “Fat” in a very derogatory and disrespectful way.

I don’t say all of these things because I’m a whiny baby or because I feel sorry for myself, I’m saying them out of frustration. Overweight people are constantly judged based purely on their looks, and frankly it’s tiring. I was happy fat, I’m happy as I’m getting less fat and one day I’ll hopefully be a happy skinny person. But my weight and whether or not I lose it doesn’t change who I am. Don’t ever assume that it will or that an overweight person wants to be skinny.

Talk to me like a person, or a colleague or a friend and not as the fat version of those things.

We are all struggling and sometimes flailing and I’d love to just be able to not only be myself but be able to ask for help when I need it. Or to have the freedom to be exactly who I am at any given time. Even if I’m fat.

What did this week bring me?

  • A loss of almost 5 pounds.
  • A renewed hatred of celery
  • A clearer vision of what else I need to change to make myself more successful
  • A new kid, a crazier than ever schedule, and the realization that I can now physically do more than I could 6 months ago. Hallelujah.

REMINDER. If you want to check out the Ideal Protein plan and see what I’m doing and why I love it, please come out to an upcoming information night. I’ll be there sharing a bit of my story and answering your questions along with some other fine folks. You’ll get to try some of the products and will receive a discount voucher to use if you decide to join. Follow this link to add your name to the attendance list.

Ideal Protein Information Night in Sherwood Park

Week 23 plus a Few & Still Hanging On

It’s been a little while since I’ve written. Not because I gave in and quit, but because my life went insane. Who knew keeping 7 kids busy and on track all summer would be a tough task to accomplish? August was the month of seemingly unending doctors appointments, the moving in and out of kids, back to school prep and just all around chaos. I’ve hardly had a spare moment to think, forget about writing.

The good news, I’m still trucking along. At my slow snails pace, but still going nonetheless. A lot of the doctors appointments were for me, as some of my bad choices of my old lifestyle have come back to bite me in the butt. It’s been a pretty big reminder of how important taking care of myself really is. Not really caring for the majority of my life has left me with more issues than I’d like to even admit. BUT that’s okay, I’ll just keep going forward, I’ll just keeping choosing better and I’ll deal with whatever my body decides to throw at me as it comes along. Unfortunately, I can’t completely reverse some things, but I can most certainly stop them from getting worse, so that’s reason enough for me to keep trying.

I still continue to struggle with eating enough, and getting my brain to accept that vegetables are friends and not enemies. Every month, I do a little bit better, but I need to do more than just “a little bit” better. I need to stop being such a whiny baby and quit ignoring the reminder alarms that I’ve set in my phone to remind myself to eat. I need to not think about veggies as horrible awfulness. I need to just suck it up and deal already. I need to just stop hanging on and throw myself over the edge already.

As much as I appreciate feeling better and love that my painful bad weeks have become bad days, and more often than not, just bad moments, I now need to focus on losing weight. The past 6 months of “dieting” to get healthy have been awesome, but I’m now ready to diet to lose weight. My heart and my brain need a little switch as my journey is still so far from ending that I need a new motivation. Reality is, the more weight I lose, the better I’ll feel. I need the fat to stop crushing my organs and causing me pain. I need to be able to carry less of me around to give my joints and bones a break. I need my skin to stop rubbing on itself. I just need to not be fat anymore.

September 1st has always been my January 1st, so it’s New Years Resolution time friends. I’m now “officially” on a diet to lose weight. And for the first time in my life, I’m actually excited about this change and am looking forward to reaching some VERY close milestones.

I’ve been fat my entire life and I cannot wait to see what “not fat” feels like.

If you want to check out the Ideal Protein plan and see what I’m doing and why I love it, please come out to an upcoming information night. I’ll be there sharing a bit of my story and answering your questions along with some other fine folks. You’ll get to try some of the products and will receive a discount voucher to use if you decide to join. Follow this link to add your name to the attendance list.

Ideal Protein Information Night in Sherwood Park

And as a closing note, Thank-you for being on my support team by reading my posts, sending me encouraging notes and for joining this journey with me. This is tough to do, and having a team of people on my side really helps make things easier. Much Love to all of you.

Week Five. Ankles & Impossibilities

After being in 2 car accidents within 6 months, I was diagnosed with Trauma-Induced Fibromyalgia 2 years ago. Since then, I’ve been swollen, inflamed and in pain. My hands, my wrist and my ankles have been constantly “puffy” for lack of a better word. It has sucked.

But since I’ve started Ideal Protein, the swelling and the pain have decreased dramatically. Dramatically. And now, I have ankles. I guess they were always there, but I can now see them and they’re just not a swollen mass at the bottom of my leg.

It’s not a big deal, but it’s something. It’s a reminder that I’m actually getting somewhere and that I’m getting better. These past 2 weeks have been hard, so looking down and seeing my ankle is exactly what I needed to see.

I made a commitment to follow this plan and make this my year, and I still mean it. I also know, without a doubt that I will finish what I’ve started. But this week, it’s been hard remembering that.

This has been a week of me seeing this massive goal that I’ve set for myself, and I’ve questioned my ability to power through it. And if I’m actually insane to think that it’s even possible. Is it actually an impossible task?

I’ve been overweight my entire life and unhealthy for almost as long, so it’s really hard for me to imagine myself as anything other than who I am now. It’s hard to envision something and stay focused on it when you’ve never seen or felt it before. I’m reaching for something that has never existed in my world. It’s a strange feeling.

I’m at the beginning of a seemingly impossible and ridiculously hard journey, but I’m still on it. I’m still going. And in spite of all my messed up and crazy thinking, I have ankles. That is good enough. For now.

Week Five Wrap-Up:

  • I’ve got no results to share with you as I went on vacation instead of getting weighed-in. 🙂
  • Swelling is still going down.
  • Almost everyone is now commenting that I look better. Not skinnier, but better. Which I like.
  • I haven’t quit. I haven’t given up. I am still here.
  • Impossible? We shall see.

 

 

  • PLEASE JOIN ME. I can always use a buddy that’s in this with me. I’ve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Week Four and Lessons Learned

Today wrapped up Week 4 in my new and exciting journey. It wasn’t a super great week for me, and it didn’t end as I hoped it would. But it did end, and it’s reminded me of exactly why I started this journey in the first place.

It’s Me. I fail miserably at taking care of myself, and I’ve got to figure out a way to change that. Change my brain. Change the way that I think about myself. Change from being number 42 on the importance scale to at least a 2 or 3.

I’m still totally enjoying Ideal Protein and the program. I love that it’s simple and straightforward, and that I don’t have to be some Masterchef to follow the plan closely. I haven’t cheated. I’m not craving sugar like a maniac. I’m not eating just to eat. I’m doing good for the most part.

Where I’m failing, is that I’m falling back into a pattern of not eating. I get busy, and distracted and I just don’t eat. 2 days this week, I literally ate nothing until 6:30pm, and even then, it wasn’t enough. I set alarms in my phone, and then I shut them off because I’m busy. My husband calls me and asks me if I’ve eaten, and I usually have to answer no. It’s just the weirdest thing, why don’t I eat?

Is it because I’m a Mom? That I currently have 7 kids and have so many other things to think about? Is it because I can’t have Iced Capp’s & Nachos, so I choose nothing instead? Is it because I just suck at caring about myself? Is it any of these reasons or is it a combination of all them? I really don’t know, but I really want to fix it.

How does someone switch from putting others first to putting themselves first? How exactly does one do that?

For now, I will set alarms and I will listen to them. I will try and be more conscious of what I’m doing or not doing. I will try and wake up believing that I’m not Mom first and that it’s okay for my kids to come second sometimes. That’s where I’m going to start.

To wrap up Week Four:

I gained 1 pound. But more importantly, I saw what not eating actually does to my body.

My constant pain is almost not constant. I still tire quickly, and if I overuse my muscles, it takes them a bit to recover. But I’m not in pain all the time and that’s so stinking awesome.

In one month: I lost a total of 14 pounds, 6.5 inches, a whole lotta pain, my sugar cravings, and the fear of being able to do something this difficult.

And inside that loss, I found the beginning of something amazing. I found out things about myself that I need to change, and things that I want to let go of completely. I found out that even though I live an amazing life, I deserve more and so does my family. That content isn’t good enough anymore.

Guess it’s time to put on my own life preserver before trying to save anyone else.

 

 

  • JOIN ME.  I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.

Week Two. I hate celery.

I don’t understand celery. It’s a whole lotta chewing. And it’s stringy. But it’s green and I don’t have to cook it, so I guess I’ll keep eating it.

I wish it tasted like bread. Bread with cheddar cheese on it. That would be the perfect celery.

Sigh.

Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m actually doing really good. This journey isn’t easy by any means, but I’m totally staying on plan and feel really good about my decision to start. I truly never thought that I’d be this okay with giving so much up, and yet here I am. Really okay.

I won’t lie to you and say that I don’t think about my favourite things, like Iced Capps, and Nachos, and Bread. But now when I think about them, they don’t consume me anymore. My faves have just become thoughts in the back of my mind as opposed to “needs”. It’s still weird to me that I’ve come to this place, really weird actually, but it’s cool knowing that I’ve actually got the willpower to change my life. Who knew?

I’d love to say that I could’ve done all of this on my own, without using special products, or having a coach, but for the first time in my life, I’m being honest. I’m my own worst enemy, and I need help. Lots of it. I absolutely love Ideal Protein. It works so well with my busy, crazy world and I really needed that. I needed a Helper that gets me, and this one does.  😉

So as week two wraps up, here’s what’s gone down.

My insatiable thirst has completely eased off. If you know me personally, you know that I am always thirsty, and drink water non-stop. That is pretty much gone. Now I drink water because it’s good, and not because I feel like I may die without it.

I’m tired at night. And not at 2am but 10pm. I’ve never had this much sleep before, and as nice as it is, it’s really messing up my “work day”. Know how much I accomplished between Midnight and 2am??? LOL.

I’m down 14.2 lbs and 4.5 inches.

Maybe celery isn’t so bad after all.

 

  • JOIN ME.  I’m SO thankful for my coach, Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They’re very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They’ve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers (yes, I’ve given my little group a name), they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. I’d LOVE to have some company and a listening ear for the not so good days that I’m sure will eventually show up. If you want more info, send me a message. Or reach out to the Coach here.