Tag Archives: tired

Week 28 and Finding Joy in the VEEERRRY Long Journey

I’ve been feeling a little whiny and annoyed this week with this whole, stupid weightloss journey.

I’ve been having massive cravings for cake frosting, not cake, just frosting. I’m starting to get a hate on for water and cucumbers and celery. Well, celery is an eternal hatred but its getting stronger. I feel like going out for a big fancy fondue meal would be pretty much the most perfect thing ever, but only the bread and cheese and chocolate and cheesecake part of the meal. And pumpkin spice lattes, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m hating Fall at the moment. Not the season but my lack of #PSL goodness.

It’s taking FOREVER to reach the end of this journey, which I’m fairly confident will be a forever one, which is a whole other kind of scary. I don’t feel like I’ve changed all that much. I bounce between being okay with being fat and wanting to not be. I get mad at myself for letting it get as bad as it did, and then not really caring all that much that it did. Overall, my head is fairly messed up and upside down at the moment.

So, I turned to the place of knowledge and opinions, ie. Facebook, for some encouragement and found exactly what I needed. Many of my friends and acquaintances have lost weight so I asked them to share their milestones and celebrations from their weightloss journey’s. Their words opened my eyes and helped me to see things a little bit clearer.

Here’s some of their stories.

My SIL Charlene loved feeling comfortable with her shirt tucked into her jeans after her 40lb loss.

Being able to cross my legs – Jennifer

Stacey was thrilled to be able to shop in a store that wasn’t for plus sizes.

Zita was encouraged by milestones, like 10lbs, 20lbs, 40lbs, but achieving a 100lb loss was her mind blowing moment.

A few people shared that it was their progress pics that helped them keep going.

My brother Colin was thrilled to be able to do 25 sit-ups in a row.

When Sarah hit a healthy BMI and entered One-derland on the scale.

These were just some of their a-ha moments, and I’ve experienced quite a few of them. But after some thought, I’ve come up with a few more of my own.

I’m now able to sit in the chairs in waiting rooms, without feeling like the chair is about 17 times too small for my butt and that I’m going to be stuck in it forever.

When I go out for dinner, to eat my salads, I can fit in a booth without the table touching me.

I can see my feet, and I have ankles. Oh, and my size 11 feet seem to be shrinking. Hallelujah.

I have less of me in the way when I pick things up off the floor or tie my shoes.

It’s these moments that I need to take note of. Not the way off in the distance end results that I’m aiming for. Not the things that I’ve given up. Not the things that I’m craving. It’s these things that remind me of why I began and how far I’ve come. How far all of us on this journey have come.

It’s about Baby Steps people. Baby Steps.

What did this week bring me?

New pants that were FOUR sizes smaller.

5 people in my house got the Flu, and I DIDN’T! That is a massively big thing as I used to get sick at the drop of a hat.

I tried a bunch of new types of food … some were nasty, some were good. But I tried them, so that’s a success.

 

WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS JOURNEY? As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

 

Screaming in Silence

Some days I wake up and I’m tired. I’ve had a great sleep and I’m refreshed and ready for the day, but I’m still so very, very tired.

Some days I can’t form a clear thought in my head. I know what I want to say, and I know what I need to do, but I just can’t get my thoughts together.

Some days I catch myself looking at my kids and wondering why in the world I ever thought being a Mom was a good idea.

Some days I try and figure out ways to lock myself out of my house and away from the chaos that seems to thrive inside.

Some days I can’t come up with new answers to the questions that I’ve already answered a million times.

Some days I just want to scream, at the top of my lungs while I jump up and down and stomp my feet. But I never do, I just stand there in silence and leave the screaming inside my head.

Most days I wonder if I’m being the best Mom that I can be? Am I helping my kids become all that they can be? Am I good enough for them?

Being a Mom is tough. It’s also amazing and awesome and wonderful, but it’s still tough.

So often I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and cower from the responsibilities that have been given to me. It is my job to train them in the way that they should go. It is my job to shape their character, teach them morals and give them self-confidence. It is my job to be their example.

I yell at my kids more often than I should. I quite often forget that they’re not adults and put too high of expectations on them. I don’t go to enough of their school and sporting events. I let them eat more junk food than they should. I get mad at them when they don’t do exactly as I say. I give them irrational punishments that I always regret later. I make more mistakes than I ever care to admit.

But then I look into the faces of my babies, and I’m blown away by how incredibly amazing they are. Someway, somehow, I did that. My heart tells me that I’m a good Mom, but my brain quite often tries to convince me otherwise. Why is that?

Why do we as Moms do this to ourselves? Why can’t we just trust our instincts and the decisions that we are making? No one knows you or your family better than YOU, so why isn’t that good enough?

I’m tired. Tired of questioning myself and second guessing everything. I’m tired of fretting and worrying about each and every decision that I make. I’m tired of feeling like there should be more to my journey, and I’m ready to kick all my “tireds” to the curb.

Let’s make a pact. You and me and all the Moms around us. Let’s agree to be true to ourselves first. Let’s honour our families and the choices that we’ve made. Let’s own our mistakes and do better next time. Let’s love ourselves the same way we love our children. Let’s never let doubt convince us that we are worth less than we really are. Let’s trust ourselves. Let’s agree to give up on being perfect and instead work on being content.

So from this moment forward, the ground on which I stand is solid. I KNOW who I am. I am confident and am trusting in all that I know to be true.  I am an awesome Mom. A great friend. An incredible wife and a good daughter. That is more than enough for me.

And if one day I need to scream, out loud. That’s okay too.

keep-calm-youre-a-good-mom

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to follow along with all of us “challengers”, click on their links below. 

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

Mom First. Writer Last.

That pretty much sums up my day.

Matching outfits for school, reading up on my new “job”, doing laundry again, and again and again. Separating the minions from the screaming fighting match that is Minecraft when played with a sibling that cannot read and doesn’t know any colours. Planning what to put in the 25 lunches per week that I’m about to start making again. (The ONLY bad part of back to school time). Planning our escape in 2 weeks. Counting inventory for one store, and cleaning up my massive mess that the other store creates. Popcorn and movie night with the Wiener 5 and yet another load of laundry still to fold.

In other words, today was a stupid busy, but awesome Mom day.  Not sure if I was too busy, too lazy or too tired to write today. Let’s go with busy. No writing, just surviving.

Super Mom. Out.

awesomeness

This post is part of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. Click on the links below to check out some of the other awesome bloggers involved in the challenge. So much awesome.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy

12 More Sleeps

Summer is such a lovely time.

Sunshine, rainbows and children filled with joyfulness and glee. Mother’s bonding with their children and enjoying all of the freedom that no school brings. Playdates with friends and trips camping at the lake. Making s’mores at the campfire and running through the sprinkler. Perfect, family awesomeness.

It sounds heavenly doesn’t it? And thankfully, that is exactly what my summer was like. Exactly.

Minutes turned into hours – hours into days – days into weeks and two months later, I’ve had all of the joy that one Mother could ever handle. My family happiness meter is filled to the top, and I’m ready to share my little bundles of joy with others. I’m willing to let them go so they can bless others.

Over the summer, their “skill” levels increased dramatically. They can now “sing” at the tops of their lungs for hours at a time. Perfect for music class. They can run for hours and hours, without seemingly needing a break and just might be your next track stars in the making. They’re also ready for walks in the wilderness as they figured out how to leave little trails of stuff wherever they go. I can rest easily knowing that you won’t lose them in the woods. They’ve also learned a lot about things being fair, and have reminded me on numerous occasions just how much they appreciate my teaching them all about that. And most importantly, they’ve had many “sharing sessions” over the past two months, and have “bonded” over toys and team building. It’s been quite inspirational actually. And now they’re ready to share their skills with you.

You’re welcome world. The Wiener Five are ready for school, and hopefully you’re ready for them cause ready or not, they’re coming. 12 more sleeps.

Enjoy them, I most certainly have.

backtoschool

This is Day Two of the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. If you want to do some awesome reading … follow along with all of us “challengers”.

Liam ~ Natasha ~ Zita ~ MagzD ~ Peter ~ Christine ~ Cliff ~ Hethr ~ Tracy