Tag Archives: weight loss

Week 41. The No Good, Awful, Horrible Week

My kickstart, getting things back in order week started off beautifully. I did food prep, set up alarms and food diaries in my phone, sorted out my vitamins and got things started. I had 2 days of eating exactly how I’m supposed and was on track.

And then it happened, I threw up. For the next 18 hours. For almost 5 days, I lied on the couch riding out the glorious sickness that is Norwalk. I’d love to say that it’s a fabulous way to lose weight, but it’s so incredibly awful and horrible, that weightloss isn’t even a consideration. I was more focused on not dying than stepping on a scale. LOL.

Just when I thought, all was good and I could get things going again, one of my kids came up from the basement and said “I went downstairs and my socks are all wet now”. Gah.

I went to the basement to discover that our septic system has backed up into our playroom and gym. I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry as I stood there in the muck while I madly texted my husband to COME HOME NOW.

Thankfully, my children provided the distraction that I so desperately needed when someone proclaimed, “So you’re telling me that this is poop water”. Oh the laugh we had when the child that had discovered the flood, realized that he had poopy water on his socks and he started heaving and laughing/crying. Oh how I needed that laugh as I surveyed that wet and stinky mess.

That moment started a chain of phone calls to electricians, insurance adjuster and disaster clean-up people. It was workers coming into our home at midnight to survey damages and start cleaning. It has been a non-stop flurry of activity and work crews, but what it hasn’t been is order and focusing on my health. As usual, survival mode and just getting through took over and my desire to eat vegetables flew out the window with all of my basement flooring.

I’m starting to feel like the Universe doesn’t want me to get back on track and complete this journey that I’ve put myself on. I get motivated, and then boom here’s a wall. And then, woot, survived another obstacle and them, boom, here’s another speed bump in my way. I know it’s life and that there will always be bumps and lumps and things in the way, but I need to figure out how to take care of me while I ride them out.

I have no problem taking care of the problem, or the kids or the friends that are going through it with me, but I just cannot figure out how to take care of myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suffering mentally or feel like I’m falling apart and can’t handle it. But what I get caught up in, is putting all of my time and energy into helping others and forgetting that I need to eat, take my vitamins, drink water, go for a walk. All of that, literally, leaves my brain. It will be 7pm, I’ll have a wicked headache, and I’ll realize that all I’ve had to eat that day is a protein shake.

I really need to get a handle on this, or I’m going to be floundering forever. So friends, how do I do this? How do I find the strength, or maybe it’s desire to put myself first? How does one find the time to do all they need to do for themselves on TOP of what they’re already doing for others? How do I finally find myself?

I’ve always said that losing weight and getting healthy is more of a re-wiring of the brain as opposed to just eating better. I know that I obviously need to eat for nutrition and not just for pleasure, I need vegetables over sugar, I need less crap and more goodness BUT I also need to shut off the garbage voices in my brain that are constantly pulling me off my new path.

Frankly, being more than 100¬†lbs overweight isn’t just because of chips and Iced Capps, there’s a whole lot of other things going on in my world. It’s those things that will make or break this journey and that’s one of the reasons that I’m so thankful that I have a diet coach. He gets to handle all of the technical and food stuff so I don’t have to think about that, and I can think about the rest of it. He can’t fix my head but he can carry half of this burden and help me find me again. He’s my voice of reason when I feel like I’m just spinning my wheels and getting stuck in a rut. I know that I wouldn’t have made it this far on my own, as I appear to be my own worst enemy.

I said all of that to say this … Find your people before you set out on any massive journey. People that will just be in your corner and will hear you vent without giving you advice. We need people who will guide us and lead us, but we also need quiet voices that will just stand there quietly and wish you the best. Find someone to walk the journey with you. Find people who will make sure that when you’re invited over or out, that they’ll have food for you OR will not spend the whole evening telling you it’s okay to “just have one”. In other words, find people who love you and want you to succeed. This is not something that you can do on your own, especially if you want this change to be forever. It’s easy to lose weight, or quit drinking or give up sugar or carbs for a season … it’s the long game that needs the extra love.

Find those “extra” people and hang on tight because there will be days where your basement fills with crap and you’re going to need them.

What did I learn this week?

  • that we need an alarm on our septic system ūüôā
  • that throwing-up is NOT for adults.
  • that I still have a long way to go, but that I’m slowly but surely getting there.
  • that I have an AMAZING husband that jumped in and completely took over as Mom & Dad so I could be quarantined away from everyone to ensure Norwalk didn’t take us ALL down.
  • that I have some really cool people in my corner

 

 

WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS JOURNEY? The best way to learn more about the Ideal Protein plan  is to register for a free information session. You can find out when the next sessions are on this page.  Anyone attending the info session will earn a voucher for 1/2 the registration fee should you choose to join the program. And if you mention that you learned about them by reading my blog, you will also earn a special welcome bonus. My coach is based out of Sherwood Park at the local Medicine Shoppe pharmacy and he and his team are INCREDIBLE.  You can reach out to the Coaching team here.

 

 

 

 

 

Week 28 and Finding Joy in the VEEERRRY Long Journey

I’ve been feeling a little whiny and annoyed this week with this whole, stupid weightloss journey.

I’ve been having massive cravings for cake frosting, not cake, just frosting. I’m starting to get a hate on for water and cucumbers and celery. Well, celery is an eternal hatred but its getting stronger. I feel like going out for a big fancy fondue meal would be pretty much the most perfect thing ever, but only the bread and cheese and chocolate and cheesecake part of the meal. And pumpkin spice lattes, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’m hating Fall at the moment. Not the season but my lack of #PSL goodness.

It’s taking FOREVER to reach the end of this journey, which I’m fairly confident will be a forever one, which is a whole other kind of scary. I don’t feel like I’ve changed all that much. I bounce between being okay with being fat and wanting to not be. I get mad at myself for letting it get as bad as it did, and then not really caring all that much that it did. Overall, my head is fairly messed up and upside down at the moment.

So, I turned to the place of knowledge and opinions, ie. Facebook, for some encouragement and found exactly what I needed. Many of my friends and acquaintances have lost weight so I asked them to share their milestones and celebrations from their weightloss journey’s. Their words opened my eyes and helped me to see things a little bit clearer.

Here’s some of their stories.

My SIL Charlene loved feeling comfortable with her shirt tucked into her jeans after her 40lb loss.

Being able to cross my legs – Jennifer

Stacey was thrilled to be able to shop in a store that wasn’t for plus sizes.

Zita was encouraged by milestones, like 10lbs, 20lbs, 40lbs, but achieving a 100lb loss was her mind blowing moment.

A few people shared that it was their progress pics that helped them keep going.

My brother Colin was thrilled to be able to do 25 sit-ups in a row.

When Sarah hit a healthy BMI and entered One-derland on the scale.

These were just some of their a-ha moments, and I’ve experienced quite a few of them. But after some thought, I’ve come up with a few more of my own.

I’m now able to sit in the chairs in waiting rooms, without feeling like the chair is about 17 times too small for my butt and that I’m going to be stuck in it forever.

When I go out for dinner, to eat my salads, I can fit in a booth without the table touching me.

I can see my feet, and I have ankles. Oh, and my size 11 feet seem to be shrinking. Hallelujah.

I have less of me in the way when I pick things up off the floor or tie my shoes.

It’s these moments that I need to take note of. Not the way off in the distance end results that I’m aiming for. Not the things that I’ve given up. Not the things that I’m craving. It’s these things that remind me of why I began and how far I’ve come. How far all of us on this journey have come.

It’s about Baby Steps people. Baby Steps.

What did this week bring me?

New pants that were FOUR sizes smaller.

5 people in my house got the Flu, and I DIDN’T! That is a massively big thing as I used to get sick at the drop of a hat.

I tried a bunch of new types of food … some were nasty, some were good. But I tried them, so that’s a success.

 

WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS JOURNEY? As always, remember that if you mention that you read my blog when you head into The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park, they’ll take 50% off of your registration costs. Great savings!! If you want more info, send me a message and I’ll help you on your journey. Or you can reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

 

Week 23 plus a Few & Still Hanging On

It’s been a little while since I’ve written. Not because I gave in and quit, but because my life went insane. Who knew keeping 7 kids busy and on track all summer would be a tough task to accomplish? August was the month of seemingly unending doctors appointments, the moving in and out of kids, back to school prep and just all around chaos. I’ve hardly had a spare moment to think, forget about writing.

The good news, I’m still trucking along. At my slow snails pace, but still going nonetheless. A lot of the doctors appointments were for me, as some of my bad choices of my old lifestyle have come back to bite me in the butt. It’s been a pretty big reminder of how important taking care of myself really is. Not really caring for the majority of my life has left me with more issues than I’d like to even admit.¬†BUT that’s okay, I’ll just keep going forward, I’ll just keeping choosing better and I’ll deal with whatever my body decides to throw at me as it comes along. Unfortunately, I can’t completely reverse some things, but I can most certainly stop them from getting worse, so that’s reason enough for me to keep trying.

I still continue to struggle with eating enough, and getting my brain to accept that vegetables are friends and not enemies. Every month, I do a little bit better, but I need to do more than just “a little bit” better. I need to stop being such a whiny baby and quit ignoring the reminder alarms that I’ve set in my phone to remind myself to eat. I need to not think about veggies as horrible awfulness. I need to just suck it up and deal already. I need to just stop hanging on and throw myself over the edge already.

As much as I appreciate feeling better and love that my painful bad weeks have become bad days, and more often than not, just bad moments, I now need to focus on losing weight. The past 6 months of “dieting” to get healthy have been awesome, but I’m now ready to diet to lose weight. My heart and my brain need a little switch as my journey is still so far from ending that I need a new motivation. Reality is, the more weight I lose, the better I’ll feel. I need the fat to stop crushing my organs and causing me pain. I need to be able to carry less of me around to give my joints and bones a break. I need my skin to stop rubbing on itself. I just need to not be fat anymore.

September 1st has always been my January 1st, so it’s New Years Resolution time friends. I’m now “officially” on a diet to lose weight. And for the first time in my life, I’m actually excited about this change and am looking forward to reaching some VERY close milestones.

I’ve been fat my entire life and I cannot wait to see what “not fat” feels like.

If you want to check out the Ideal Protein plan and see what I’m doing and why I love it, please come out to an upcoming information night. I’ll be there sharing a bit of my story and answering your questions along with some other fine folks. You’ll get to try some of the products and will receive a discount voucher to use if you decide to join. Follow this link to add your name to the attendance list.

Ideal Protein Information Night in Sherwood Park

And as a closing note, Thank-you for being on my support team by reading my posts, sending me encouraging notes and for joining this journey with me. This is tough to do, and having a team of people on my side really helps make things easier. Much Love to all of you.

Week Six and Not enough Lettuce on the Mountain

Week Six started with me not getting weighed in at the completion of Week Five. In hindsight, I should have made time for my weekly check-in & reminder to take care of myself. Apparently, I need to hear those words repeatedly because I still suck at it.

I was so proud of myself this trip because I pre-planned every meal for my family. Right down to the condiments and seasonings. I have never been that organized and prepared for a vacation before and I was looking forward to everything going smoothly. And it did, until we sat down to eat supper and I realized that I couldn’t eat the food I’d prepared.

I’d actually forgotten to plan for myself.

By the middle of the week, I’d run out of fresh veggies and started my usual pattern of non-eating. I drank a lot of water, ate my protein packs and lean protein. And then I had a burger. With a bun.

I fessed up to my coach, and his response was, “Could you have just not eaten the bun”?

Why, yes, yes I could’ve done that. But I didn’t. In all honesty, it didn’t even cross my mind to not eat the bun. It was a good bun, which I’m now craving. Which is a problem.

The crazy thing about all of this is that I don’t feel deprived or that I’m missing out on anything. I don’t feel all woe is me or sad about the decisions that I’ve made to follow this plan. I don’t really want and most certainly don’t need the things I’ve given up. My fight is against¬†old habits, and automatic reactions and motions that my brain and body just seem to do on their own.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through a drive-through with my family and ordered myself something, only to throw it away once it’s in my hands. I’ve bought myself a drink,¬†only to remember that I shouldn’t be drinking it once the straw is in my mouth. Or the burger that I’m about to eat while we drive to yet another appointment. It’s just another weird thing that I’m slowly working though. Old habits really, truly die hard.¬†I am happy to report though¬†that not a single drop of Tim Hortons Iced Capp goodness has actually crossed my lips in over 6 weeks, even though I’ve ordered a few. LOL.

My week on the side of a mountain was wonderful but I’m home now and all is right in my world.¬†I’m back on track. I’ve got a fridge full of veggies and had my weekly reprimand and encouragement. It’s nice knowing that even though I didn’t do all that I needed to do, I’m still okay and I can still keep going. There’s a really nice peace in that.

No guilt and no regrets. Just another reminder that I need to think of myself sometimes. Not always first, but at least in the list somewhere.

That’s my challenge this week. Figure out how to be a Mom to Many without throwing myself to the bottom of the pile while I lift them up. This is going to be hard. But doable right?

Week Six brought me these gifts:

~ I lost almost 6 pounds.

~ The realization that I need new pants because I’m starting to look like I borrowed all mine from a very large lumberjack.

~ A great week with my family. Hamburger bun and all. I am blessed.

 

 

  • PLEASE JOIN ME.¬†I can always use a buddy that‚Äôs in this with me. I‚Äôve got an excellent coach in Suhas and his team at The Medicine Shoppe in Sherwood Park. They‚Äôre very encouraging, very supportive and have lots of great ideas and advice to share. They‚Äôve also graciously made an offer for all of my friends that want to join me in this adventure. If you let them know that you read this blog and want to join my Dream Team of Losers, they‚Äôll take 50% off of your registration costs. If you want more info, send me a message. Or¬†reach out to the Coach here.

 

 

The Road to Skinny …. Following the Rules

Well, yesterday was my bi-weekly weigh-in and the results were pretty good.

I spent the last 2 weeks actually following all of my coaches orders. I ate, and I ate, and I ate. More food than I’ve eaten in a really long time. I took my vitamins, drank copious amounts of water and did exactly what I was supposed to do.

Overall, I felt great, outside of this evil sinus infection that just. won’t. die. I slept well, still didn’t convince myself to exercise, but I made it through another 2 weeks. Yeah Me!

I lost another 9lb’s and 6 more inches. And even better news, my body fat percentage went down which means I’m not losing lean mass, which means I’m doing the right thing for my body.

This year WILL be the final chapter in my Fat April story. I know it, I feel it and I love it.

Last week, I also joined a great little group on Facebook called Mission Slim Possible. It’s a bunch of people wanting to achieve some big goals this year –¬†health & exercise wise. They’re all there to support and encourage and lift each other up. They’re going to inspire me to exercise … hasn’t happened yet, but it will. LOL. I did manage to download a 7 minute exercise app though, so that counts for something right?? (Yes, I’m that lazy that I count that action as exercise).

I’m grateful for their honest and open hearts, and their daily words of encouragement. Our stories are all very different but our goals are the same. We all want more. We all want better. We all want change.

Wherever you are in your “get skinny/healthy” journey, find yourself a support system somewhere. If it can’t be your spouse, find a good friend. If your friends are as unmotivated as you are, find a group of workout buddies. Just find something or someone to help you get through this adventure. If you’re in the same boat as me, the journey will be long and tough, and not one you can do on your own.

Thankfully, I’m blessed with a good husband, great friends and an awesome coach. They are the voices that push me forward and remind me of my goals. They are my gifts in this world.

Who’s your helper? Go find one. Now.

See you in 2 weeks.

help

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you.

I’m SO skinny now … 4 weeks Complete

Well, I made it to 4 weeks and I’m pretty excited about how well I did. Especially since, I’m feeling great and haven’t felt all that deprived or like I had to give up a whole lot of anything.

I am a bit ticked off at myself though for having my glass of Coke Zero as it totally stalled my weight loss for almost a week. Apparently, drinking a litre of diet coke/day has made my body more than a little sensitive to Aspartame. Bummer Dude.

But …. here’s a picture of what I’ve lost.

20lbs-of-fat

That picture totally grosses me out, but it’s a pretty good visual.

In 28 days, I lost:

20 pounds – 17.5 inches and 1.5% body fat

Overall, I’m quite satisfied and pretty proud of myself but the end still feels so far away. I’m really trying to stay focused on how I’m doing and how far I’ve come, as opposed to how far I still have to go. My initial goal is 50lbs, and I’m almost half way there. So for now, that ¬†is what I’ll focus on and not the next 50lbs after that.¬†

That’s always been my problem, getting caught up in the “big” (no pun intended) picture. It’s hard … but I need to stay in the “now” and not the seemingly impossible future. Today is what matters … and I think I’ve almost got my brain convinced of that. Thankfully, I’ve got a great support system and they’re helping me see “me”.

My husband doesn’t say a whole lot about my weight, good or bad. He’s watched¬†me go up¬†and down and has learned to just say nothing. But this time, when I¬†feel down or complain if I don’t feel like I’m doing good enough, he helps me see things differently.¬†¬†He points out little things that I don’t think about, and it helps.

My coach and the entire team at Bearspaw have been incredibly supportive and helpful on this journey. They let me whine and complain and tell them they suck, and they still love me. They have been an integral part of what has kept me on track. Thank-you Kerri & Josline … I love you A LOT.

And now we keep on going, starting with a protein shake and a salad.

IF YOU WANT TO JOIN ME ON THIS ADVENTURE, PLEASE CONTACT MY COACHES HERE. Be sure to let them know that April sent you. 

Small Disclaimer at Bottom of Post: I am being compensated for sharing my Ideal Protein story with you.

K is for Kick-Off

Today is the day that I start. I’m kicking off my new way of thinking, my new way of eating and my new way of living. Today I’m putting me first. Something that I’ve never done before.

I’m not going on a diet. I’m not doing anything drastic. I’m not starving myself. I’m not getting caught up in the numbers on the scale. I’m just going to live.

Today I’m¬†going to make healthy food choices as opposed to the obviously¬†bad ones. I’m going to drink water¬†when I’m thirsty. I’m going to make myself take¬†all the vitamins and pills that my body so desperately needs and I constantly forget to take.¬†I’m going to go for a walk with my husband everyday. I’m going to go to sleep before 2 am. I’m going to take time to shower and brush my hair, every day. I’m going to choose to be better.

I’m looking forward to this change in my thinking and this change in my life. I know that some days are going to be awesome and that some days are going to royally suck. But this time, the bad days won’t defeat me. They’ll just be a trigger to try harder tomorrow.

Who’s joining me in this journey?

This post is Day 13 of the Summer Blog Challenge – 31 posts in 31 Days

Please visit my fellow challenge bloggers and read their stories.

Meaghan at Magz D Life
Tam at Tam I Am
Liam at In The Now
Jessica at2plus2X2